Paul McCartney remembers being born, England has officially run short on hunks, and Teslas are apparently doing kickflips. Welcome to a Friday where reality has completely stopped supervising itself.
The Rizzuto Show is back with another gloriously ridiculous funny podcast featuring Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, and special guest Clownvis. And somehow, the biggest mystery of the day isn't whether a Beatle remembers his own birth. It's how many people are willing to buy a video game box that doesn't actually contain a video game.
We kick things off in St. Louis with a little music, a little charity, and the realization that Moon has been planning his upcoming Greek Fire concert like he's directing a Broadway production.
The band is preparing to return to Delmar Hall with new music, a three-act theatrical show, and local opener Native Monster. Moon explains that the whole experience is designed to tell a story through the band's music, complete with different eras, carefully planned transitions, and what Lern insists on calling costume changes.
Rizz is ready to enjoy the show. Lern is coming too. Clownvis will be hanging out. The only real question is whether Rizz can make it through Act Three without accidentally becoming part of the performance.
The crew also shouts out the local businesses supporting Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital through the show's October fundraiser, including the sponsors brave enough to put their names on everyone's hats. It's charitable giving with the added bonus of turning morning radio hosts into walking billboards.
Then Lern casually announces that she's seen videos of Teslas doing kickflips.
Not driving over ramps.
Not performing impressive parking maneuvers.
Actual upside-down, rocket-thruster-assisted kickflips.
Moon points out that the videos are AI, but Lern isn't quite ready to surrender the dream of a car that can skateboard better than most humans.
From there, we enter the deeply confusing world of Paul McCartney's earliest memory.
During an appearance on Amy Poehler's Good Hang podcast, the Beatles legend claimed to remember being born, including details about the delivery room and the difficult birth itself.
Naturally, Rizz wants to know whether that's even possible.
Moon brings up the science of infantile amnesia and how memories can be reconstructed over time. Lern argues that human brains are complicated and maybe extraordinary people have extraordinary abilities. And Rizz shares his own earliest memory: getting bitten by a llama at the zoo.
That's right. Paul McCartney remembers entering the world. Rizz remembers being attacked by a farm animal.
Both men went on to accomplish great things, depending on how generously you define great.
The conversation gets into false memories, people who claim to remember life in the womb, and whether childhood recollections are anything more than stories our brains keep rewriting.
Then it's time to talk about Grand Theft Auto 6, a game so anticipated that people are reportedly buying collectible boxes containing digital download codes instead of physical game discs.
The crew debates the game's rumored focus on modern financial struggles, including student loans, credit card debt, grocery prices, and the impossible dream of buying a house.
Finally, a video game where you can escape the crushing stress of everyday life by experiencing the crushing stress of everyday life.
And if you thought that was depressing, wait until you hear about England's national hunk shortage.
According to a story discussed on the show, the Mr. England pageant has been postponed because organizers couldn't find enough suitable contestants.
They started with seven guys, managed to scrape together more candidates, lost a couple, and ultimately decided the nation needed additional time to locate some quality hunks.
A whole country. Millions of people. Not enough hunks.
Lern is concerned. Moon wants to investigate. Rizz can't believe this is a real conversation.
Somehow, the discussion leads to Hugh Grant's infamous scandal and a guessing game about the name Divine Brown, with the crew confidently offering alternatives that sound more like discontinued barbecue sauces.
And that's all before Crap on Celebrities.
Lern dives into the decades-long feud between Oasis and Phil Collins, including Noel Gallagher's legendary dislike of the former Genesis frontman and the possibility of an awkward Rock & Roll Hall of Fame encounter.
The gang also discusses Sammy Hagar's ongoing attempts to move past old Van Halen drama, Alex Van Halen's insults, and whether aging rock stars could maybe settle their differences before everybody needs a nap.
Meanwhile, Henry Winkler insists he doesn't exaggerate the size of the fish he catches, though he admits he's less reliable when discussing certain other measurements.
Carrot Top's reported return to his Las Vegas residency sparks a conversation about entertainers getting back onstage after serious health scares, while the crew also discusses a celebrity's difficult medical journey and remembers their late friend Jeff.
The movie chatter includes new releases, questionable box-office performances, Neil Young defending Digger, Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz returning to The Mummy universe, and John Goodman reflecting on films he wishes had turned out differently.
Then comes the musical argument nobody can resist: the greatest bands of all time.
The crew examines a Consequence of Sound ranking that puts The Beatles at number one, Black Sabbath at number two, and The Velvet Underground at number three.
Radiohead above The Rolling Stones?
Led Zeppelin barely cracking the top ten?
Rizz has questions. Moon has opinions. Lern has the list. Nobody is leaving this conversation satisfied.
The show wraps up with celebrity birthdays, the uncomfortable realization that everyone's musical heroes are getting older, and a preview of the Fake News or Florida contest, where contestants must decide whether an outrageous headline came from the Sunshine State or the crew's increasingly questionable imagination.
From Beatles birth memories and AI-generated car stunts to empty GTA boxes, missing British hunks, rock-star grudges, and controversial music rankings, this funny podcast is packed with weird news, celebrity gossip, St. Louis comedy, and the kind of sarcastic humor that makes you wonder how these people are allowed near microphones.
Listen to this funny podcast with Rizz, Moon, Lern, and Clownvis for your daily dose of entertainment chaos.
And remember: if your Tesla does a kickflip, you're probably watching AI. If Paul McCartney remembers being born, we're going to need a second opinion. And if you're a moderately attractive British man, congratulations—you might qualify for a national emergency response team.
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