It's National New Friends Day, and the gang has one very important question:
Who the hell has the energy to make new friends anymore?
When you're a kid, friendship is easy. You ask somebody if they like dinosaurs, they say yes, and congratulations, you've got a best friend until somebody steals somebody else's Pokémon cards.
As an adult? Forget it.
Now you've got jobs, kids, bills, errands, relationships, and the overwhelming desire to spend Friday night in sweatpants watching television without speaking to another human being.
Rizz shares a survey suggesting the average American hasn't made a single new friend in five years, and the crew immediately understands why.
Rafe announces that his friendship department has no vacancies. Lern explains that her current friends understand they don't need to talk every single day. And Rizz points out that most adult friendships seem to happen through work, kids' activities, or some shared obligation nobody can escape.
Lern even compares friendship circles to planets orbiting the sun, with everyone moving at their own pace and occasionally drifting into one another's lives.
Rafe, naturally, describes himself as a rogue planet whose moon has been destroyed and who is now floating helplessly through the universe.
Which is a surprisingly poetic way of saying he doesn't want to make plans this weekend.
But Lern actually has a success story.
She describes making a new friend named Nikki after they initially met through a business relationship. Lern waited until the professional arrangement had ended before reaching out, because she didn't want the invitation to coffee to feel like some elaborate financial networking scheme.
And when she finally asked Nikki to hang out?
She worried about what to wear, how she smelled, whether they'd get along, and whether the whole thing would be awkward.
Her husband couldn't understand why she was acting like she was preparing to meet a potential romantic partner.
Turns out Nikki was just as nervous.
And now they're great friends.
So apparently making a new friend as an adult really is dating, except nobody kisses at the end and both people are secretly hoping they can go home by 8:30.
The gang also explores why people don't invite friends over for dinner anymore.
According to a statistic discussed on the show, the percentage of Americans hosting friends or family at least once a month has dropped dramatically since the 1970s.
Rizz wonders what happened to the classic dinner party.
Lern remembers friends who renovated a downtown St. Louis firehouse and regularly hosted cocktail parties before moving away.
Rafe says he's been slowly getting his house ready to entertain, although after nearly a year of ownership, he's still not quite prepared to let the public inside.
And the entire conversation turns into a debate about why nobody wants people hanging around their house anymore.
Or is the real problem that once somebody comes over, there's no socially acceptable way to make them leave?
Lern thinks that's the biggest issue.
At a restaurant, the evening has a natural ending. You eat, you pay, and everybody goes home.
At somebody's house, there's always that one person who decides midnight is the perfect time to start another conversation.
Or worse, suggest Monopoly.
Rafe argues that spending time at someone's house is how friendships become deeper and more meaningful.
Lern argues that she has a bedtime.
And if you're still sitting on her couch when she's ready to shut things down, congratulations: you're about to receive a complimentary gift bag and a very clear invitation to leave.
That's right. Lern hands out leftover promotional merchandise to departing guests.
A few batteries, some popcorn, maybe a random bucket of hardware supplies.
It's like an Oscar swag bag, except the prize is being politely evicted.
From there, the show moves into Sexy Time Fun Facts, and the dating world somehow manages to make adult friendship look relaxing.
First up: a woman named Paige goes viral after being stood up on a date she arranged through Bumble.
She arrives at the restaurant, orders a drink and shrimp cocktail, and waits for a guy who says he's almost there.
Except he never shows up.
Eventually, she realizes she's apparently been blocked, leaving her with a bill of more than $100 when transportation, food, drinks, and tips are included.
Her proposed solution?
Bumble should reimburse her.
The crew debates whether dating apps should be responsible for the bad behavior of their users.
Rizz isn't particularly impressed by the woman's decision to film the experience, while Lern and Rafe explore whether dating platforms should introduce a rating system for potential partners.
Imagine leaving a review after every first date.
“Showed up on time. Good conversationalist. Chewed with mouth open. Three stars.”
Sounds useful until you remember that people are petty.
Suddenly, every rejected second date becomes a one-star review, every breakup becomes a customer-service dispute, and somebody's romantic future gets destroyed because they didn't respond to a text quickly enough.
Rafe tries to design a fair system where both people rate each other immediately after meeting.
Rizz points out that people could still lie.
And Lern realizes there's probably a very good reason dating apps haven't turned human beings into Yelp listings.
But maybe the solution isn't another dating-app feature.
Maybe it's breakfast.
The gang discusses the growing appeal of breakfast first dates, where two people meet for coffee, pancakes, or a quick meal instead of committing to an expensive evening out.
It's cheaper, more casual, and provides a convenient escape if the chemistry isn't there.
Rizz loves the idea.
Rafe sees the practical benefits.
Lern likes it too, except for one tiny problem:
You have to wake up early.
Nothing says romance like setting an alarm for 7:30 on a Saturday because a stranger wants to discuss their childhood over scrambled eggs.
Still, breakfast dates have one major advantage.
If things go well, you've got the whole day ahead of you.
And if things go badly, you can simply finish your coffee and pretend you have an extremely important appointment with your couch.
Then the conversation gets unexpectedly philosophical.
Does everyone have one true soulmate?
Rizz shares survey findings suggesting some people in relationships don't believe their current partner is necessarily their one true love.
Which is probably a fantastic statistic to casually mention during your anniversary dinner.
The crew debates whether soulmates are real, whether people can have more than one, and whether choosing a long-term partner is more about compatibility and timing than some magical cosmic connection.
Rafe suggests that people sometimes choose relationships based on practical circumstances: similar goals, financial stability, wanting children, and being ready for the same stage of life.
Lern argues that believing too strongly in a single perfect person can lead to unrealistic expectations.
And Rizz wonders what happens if you spend your whole life looking for “the one” and keep getting it wrong.
Then Lern shares a complicated situation involving someone close to her who's still emotionally attached to a former love.
The relationship ended years ago, but the feelings never completely disappeared.
Now that person has reentered her life and confessed romantic feelings, despite being involved with someone else.
Naturally, the gang has opinions.
Some are thoughtful.
Some are compassionate.
And some are the kind of advice that would get an actual relationship counselor's license revoked.
Rafe takes the discussion in a surprisingly profound direction, suggesting that maybe people discover pieces of themselves in others throughout their lives.
And perhaps a soulmate is simply someone who helps you recognize a particularly important part of yourself.
It's a genuinely touching thought.
For a brief moment, the show becomes a thoughtful exploration of human connection.
Don't worry. It doesn't last.
The gang eventually debates whether soulmates can be platonic, whether the word itself implies romance, and why one person's perfect spiritual match might be a longtime friend rather than a spouse.
And just when you think the relationship conversation can't get any more complicated, Rizz introduces another topic:
Why are more younger men attracted to older women?
The crew explores changing attitudes toward age-gap relationships and the appeal of dating someone who's already confident, independent, and knows exactly what they want.
Rafe theorizes that younger men might be looking for relationships with fewer games and less dating-app nonsense.
Lern remembers the Netflix dating series Age of Attraction and wonders whether authenticity and emotional connection play a bigger role than people realize.
Rizz shares the idea that older women may be more comfortable communicating their expectations, more established in their lives, and less interested in rushing toward traditional relationship milestones.
And then Rafe delivers the most compelling argument of the entire discussion.
An older woman might simply invite you over and offer to make pancakes.
Because the moment the crew decides pancakes are a completely innocent invitation, a listener named Kate checks in to explain that, as an older woman, an invitation to pancakes could absolutely mean something more.
And just like that, breakfast is no longer safe.
The gang also tackles the double standard surrounding age-gap relationships.
Why do people react differently to an older man dating a younger woman than they do to an older woman dating a younger man?
Lern brings up celebrities like Madonna and Bill Belichick, while Rafe points to Cher, Kris Jenner, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as examples of relationships with significant age differences.
The crew discusses attraction, financial independence, pop-culture gaps, generational differences, and whether two adults should simply be allowed to enjoy their relationship without everybody else providing a running commentary.
Of course, this is The Rizzuto Show.
So the conversation eventually devolves into jokes about retirement accounts, folding laundry, video games, and whether offering somebody breakfast has officially become a romantic code word.
From the exhausting world of adult friendships and the lost art of dinner parties to dating-app disasters, breakfast dates, soulmate theories, and the surprisingly complicated romantic meaning of pancakes, this funny podcast is packed with relatable stories, sarcastic humor, relationship advice, and the kind of St. Louis morning-show chaos that makes you feel slightly better about your own social life.
Join Rizz, Lern, and Rafe Williams for another episode of this funny podcast where making a new friend feels like a job interview, getting stood up might require a reimbursement claim, and apparently nobody can agree on what pancakes mean anymore.
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