One paperclip. One hour. Two hundred people searching your house. One million dollars on the line. And somehow Moon's plan involves a dead bird.
Welcome back to The Rizzuto Show, the funny podcast where a perfectly innocent hypothetical becomes a criminal investigation, St. Louis parking lots deserve their own horror franchise, and the crew discovers that apparently you can turn complaining about your hometown into an actual career.
Rizz, Moon, Lern, Rafe, and Devon are back with another round of ridiculous questions, funny stories, local St. Louis chaos, and an interview with someone who's making a living reminding people that our city isn't nearly as terrible as the internet insists.
First, Rafe Williams is heading to Ann Arbor, Michigan, for a weekend of comedy shows and his first experience at a major college football game.
He's going to Michigan Stadium, better known as the Big House, to watch the Wolverines take on Penn State in front of more than 100,000 people.
For a guy who's never attended a massive Division I football game, that's quite an introduction.
Rafe scores a last-minute Airbnb just a couple blocks from the stadium, prepares to fly Southwest, and casually mentions that he doesn't have a REAL ID.
Nothing like publicly announcing your airport security situation on a morning radio show.
But before Rafe can escape to Michigan, Rizz presents the crew with a hypothetical that immediately reveals how disturbingly creative everyone can be when money is involved.
You have one hour to hide a single paperclip somewhere inside your house. Then 200 people get one hour to search for it. If nobody finds it, you win $1 million.
Where do you hide it?
Simple question.
Absolutely horrifying answers.
Lern wants to open an old remote control and hide the paperclip inside the battery compartment, buried deep in that mysterious drawer of cables, chargers, and electronics nobody has touched since 2008.
Rizz considers dropping it into a shampoo bottle, hoping nobody thinks to empty every container in the bathroom.
Rafe suggests hiding it in plain sight by making it part of the toilet's flushing mechanism. He also considers cereal boxes, plumbing, and several locations that raise legitimate concerns about his understanding of human anatomy.
And Moon?
Moon decides the best strategy is to find a dead bird in his attic, hide the paperclip inside it, and bury the whole thing in fiberglass insulation.
Yes. A dead bird.
Apparently, when a million dollars is at stake, Moon becomes the world's least qualified forensic pathologist.
The crew debates whether searchers would destroy the plumbing, empty every cereal box, inspect the lint trap, or simply tear the house apart like a SWAT team searching for the world's smallest fugitive.
Listeners throw out their own suggestions, including peanut butter, recessed lighting, and hiding the paperclip among other paperclips.
By the end, everybody has a plan.
Nobody has a million dollars.
And somebody should probably check Moon's attic.
Then the show takes a serious turn with a tragic story from Nagoya, Japan, where a young woman reportedly died after a man jumped from an apartment building and landed on her.
The man survived, and the woman's father is pushing for more serious criminal charges.
The crew discusses the complicated questions surrounding criminal responsibility, recklessness, mental health, and the devastating consequences for everyone involved.
It's a heartbreaking story that sparks a thoughtful conversation about accountability and an unimaginable loss.
But this funny podcast soon returns to familiar territory when a special guest arrives in the studio.
Megan, the creator behind the popular STL Ain't Bad social media account, joins The Rizzuto Show with her boyfriend Ian.
With nearly 200,000 followers at the time of the conversation, Megan has built a community around a refreshingly simple idea:
St. Louis isn't perfect.
But it definitely ain't bad.
Megan explains how the account began during the pandemic as a personal project, inspired partly by hearing people from outside Missouri dismiss St. Louis without really knowing anything about it.
Instead of pretending the city is flawless, she started celebrating its restaurants, neighborhoods, events, shared experiences, and uniquely St. Louis frustrations.
Because loving your hometown doesn't mean you have to defend every pothole.
Especially not the Brentwood Promenade parking lot.
That particular asphalt nightmare becomes one of the episode's biggest local talking points.
Megan explains why posts about Brentwood Promenade and nostalgia for the old Talayna's bar reliably get St. Louis residents fired up.
Everybody has a Brentwood parking story.
Nobody has a good one.
The gang also discusses endless highway construction, the old Millennium Hotel, West County childhood memories, and the strange phenomenon of living in a city where everybody seems to know somebody you went to high school with.
St. Louis might be a major metropolitan area, but socially, it's basically a small town with an Arch.
Megan also shares the story of leaving her full-time corporate job to focus on STL Ain't Bad, the challenges of turning social media into a career, and why she thinks education in digital marketing and influencing can actually be valuable.
Rizz admits he used to question the idea of getting a degree in social media.
Then he remembered that he chose radio as a profession.
Suddenly, the whole thing made a lot more sense.
The conversation turns to Megan and Ian's latest business venture, Ain't Bad Booths, a collection of retro-style photo booths popping up around St. Louis.
What began as an idea after waiting in line for a photo booth in freezing New York weather has turned into a local business with locations at City Foundry, Midwestern, and Urban Chestnut, with another planned for the Washington Avenue Food Hall.
Ian helps handle the electronics and customer service side, which means he gets the unexpected pleasure of answering phone calls from people who are shocked an actual human being picked up.
The future of technology is incredible.
And apparently it still involves somebody asking whether you've tried turning it off and back on.
From there, the crew explores Westport Plaza's comeback, the giant Rawlings baseball glove, and whether that enormous glove should rotate so everybody driving past gets a better view.
Lern has thoughts.
Naturally.
Megan recommends local restaurants, including Basso, while Ian admits that dating a St. Louis content creator has introduced him to a whole new world of restaurants, concerts, and experiences.
Growing up in Catawissa, Missouri, Ian didn't attend his first concert until a recent Post Malone show at Busch Stadium.
Moon is horrified.
Lern is determined to help.
And suddenly Ian is being encouraged to attend Greek Fire at Delmar Hall and potentially experience the joys of crowd surfing.
The man came in to support his girlfriend's interview.
He may leave with a rock-and-roll homework assignment.
The crew also discusses the excitement of experiencing things for the first time, why trying new activities can make life feel richer, and how Megan's enthusiasm for St. Louis has helped Ian discover places he'd never visited before.
It's a surprisingly wholesome reminder that sometimes the best way to appreciate your hometown is to explore it like a tourist.
From million-dollar paperclip hiding strategies and Michigan football dreams to Brentwood Promenade nightmares, St. Louis nostalgia, social media entrepreneurship, and the city's growing restaurant scene, Episode 116 delivers a little bit of everything.
This funny podcast celebrates the strange, sarcastic, occasionally embarrassing things that make St. Louis feel like home.
Come for the million-dollar hypothetical.
Stay for the local love.
And remember: if you ever find a dead bird buried in Moon's attic insulation, please don't ask why.
There's probably a paperclip involved.
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