Rizz, King Scott, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another spectacularly ridiculous episode of The Rizzuto Show, the funny podcast where celebrity gossip, questionable documentaries, rock-and-roll debates, and St. Louis morning radio chaos collide. And today's biggest revelation might be that Bigfoot didn't just walk through the woods in 1967. Apparently, the guy had a dress rehearsal.
BIGFOOT HAD REHEARSAL FOOTAGE?!
The gang discusses the documentary Capturing Bigfoot, which reportedly reveals a 40-second test clip filmed in 1966, a year before the legendary Patterson-Gimlin footage from Bluff Creek, California.
You know the famous video: a giant, hairy creature strolling through the woods before turning to look directly at the camera like somebody just yelled his government name.
According to the documentary's premise, the newly uncovered footage shows a slimmer ape-like figure performing a remarkably similar walk and over-the-shoulder glance.
King Scott declares he's the foremost knowledgeable expert in Cryptozoology.
Was Bigfoot real, or was somebody directing the world's hairiest independent film?
Rizz is devastated by the possibility that the footage was staged, although he's not ready to abandon his belief in Sasquatch entirely.
Rafe, meanwhile, has a much more convincing theory.
Bigfoot isn't missing. He's living in Chesterfield.
Lern offers a few observations about Sasquatch's romantic prospects that probably won't appear in any scientific journal.
From Bigfoot conspiracies, the conversation turns to another creature that's nearly impossible to understand:
Nathan Fielder.
Rafe went to see Fielder's new documentary about disgraced Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes, and he's ready to explain why the film is one of the strangest theatrical experiences he's had in a long time.
The movie reportedly exceeded box-office expectations, drawing packed theaters and glowing reviews. Rafe had to sit in the front row, which is a terrible place to sit for almost three hours unless you're either deeply committed to cinema or being punished for something.
He gives the film an A, praising Fielder's trademark dry humor, uncomfortable interviews, and reality-bending storytelling.
The documentary follows Holmes and her boyfriend during the weeks leading up to her prison sentence, with Fielder becoming increasingly involved in their lives as the story unfolds.
And because this is Nathan Fielder, the whole thing apparently becomes an elaborate exercise in questioning what is real, what's staged, and who's manipulating whom.
Rafe describes a particularly bizarre sequence involving Amanda Seyfried's portrayal of Holmes in The Dropout, where the documentary starts folding back in on itself like a psychological origami project.
The crew also debates the film's unusual R rating, a mysterious nude scene, and whether the nearly three-hour runtime is justified.
Rafe insists the movie is worth every minute.
His bladder strongly disagrees.
He sat through the entire thing without taking a bathroom break, fueled by popcorn, cookie dough bites, Twizzlers, and a Coke.
By the time the credits rolled, he had witnessed cinematic brilliance and achieved a level of urinary discomfort normally reserved for cross-country road trips.
And then there's the one critic who apparently didn't love the movie.
With nearly universal praise surrounding the documentary, the gang becomes fascinated by a single negative review. Rafe argues that the criticism sounds like somebody trying to appear intellectual without actually saying anything.
Rizz compares it to walking into an ice cream shop, seeing too many flavors, and leaving a two-star review.
Honestly, that might be the most accurate description of modern internet criticism we've ever heard.
Then it's time for Crap on Celebrities, where Lern unleashes another avalanche of music news, Hollywood drama, bizarre revelations, and stories that probably make publicists reconsider their career choices.
First up, Billy Corgan praises Travis Barker, calling the Blink-182 drummer one of the most influential drummers of the last three decades.
The gang debates whether Barker deserves the title, comparing his fame, distinctive playing style, and lasting influence with other legendary drummers, including Dave Grohl and Tool's Danny Carey.
Rizz argues that Barker's recognizable sound and cultural impact make him a strong contender, while Lern reflects on his extraordinary career and the documentary exploring his survival of a devastating plane crash.
The discussion also touches on Barker's early days with the Aquabats, because even rock legends have to start somewhere.
Next, the crew discusses reports that Sean “Diddy” Combs was transferred to a lower-security federal prison following reports involving contraband.
Rafe questions the logic of moving someone to a less restrictive facility after alleged rule violations, while Rizz recalls Mike Tyson discussing his own prison experience in a documentary.
It's a conversation about celebrity treatment, prison privileges, and why the justice system can sometimes seem to operate under a completely different set of rules for famous people.
Then comes a story that will make absolutely everyone instinctively protect their eyeballs.
Lil Jon reveals the childhood injury behind his signature sunglasses.
According to his memoir, the rapper accidentally injured his eye with a syringe when he was six years old, leading to surgeries, an eye patch, and bullying during childhood.
That leads Rizz to share a painful family memory involving his wife Amelia and their daughter during a flight home from New York.
A playful game of patty-cake ended with a tiny finger scratching Amelia's cornea, causing severe pain and eventually requiring laser treatment.
The crew discusses just how agonizing corneal abrasions can be and why something as innocent as a baby's fingernail can turn into a medical nightmare.
Congratulations, parents. You now have one more completely unexpected thing to worry about.
The celebrity news continues with Carrot Top thanking fans for their support following a hospitalization and preparing to return to his Las Vegas residency.
Lern also shares reports about Nicolas Cage and Antonio Banderas joining a future season of True Detective, which launches a discussion about the show's different seasons.
Rizz and Rafe agree that the first season with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson is outstanding, while the crew compares the later installments featuring Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Mahershala Ali, and Jodie Foster.
Lern also announces that she's finally started watching The Pitt, and she's already hooked.
After avoiding medical dramas for years, she watched three episodes in a row and came away with a newfound appreciation for emergency-room professionals.
The gang also discusses difficult celebrity news, including a reported family tragedy involving Cindy Crawford, a court ruling in Timothy Busfield's case, and an airline incident involving Selma Blair. These stories are handled as reports discussed on the show, rather than excuses to turn serious personal or legal matters into punchlines.
Then it's back to Hollywood, where the crew reviews box-office results, debates the appeal of a movie about being swallowed by a whale, and discusses Quentin Tarantino's awkward revelation that he was never invited onto Ellen DeGeneres's talk show.
The gang remembers the famously uncomfortable Dakota Johnson birthday-party exchange and wonders how Tarantino somehow managed to miss out on the daytime television experience.
Meanwhile, Jesse Eisenberg says his poorly received portrayal of Lex Luthor in Batman v Superman affected his blockbuster career.
The crew also talks about upcoming movie trailers, including Artificial with Andrew Garfield and a new adaptation of A Christmas Carol starring Johnny Depp.
Then it's time for celebrity birthdays, featuring filmmaker Jason Reitman, former Fugees member Pras, Rizz Show friend Chris Kattan, South Park co-creator Trey Parker, Jon Favreau, Ty Pennington, Evander Holyfield, and the legendary John Lithgow.
That leads to an extended appreciation of Jon Favreau, whose career somehow stretches from Swingers and Made to Elf, Iron Man, Chef, The Mandalorian, and major Disney productions.
Rizz continues his campaign to convince everyone that Chef is an outstanding movie, while Rafe admits that The Mandalorian and Grogu didn't exactly inspire him to finish watching it on his flight.
Apparently, even Baby Yoda can't guarantee your undivided attention anymore.
And finally, it's time for the Rizz Show vs. Fast Lane NFL Pick'em Challenge.
At this point, the gang isn't competing for football supremacy. They're competing to see who can humiliate themselves the least.
From Bigfoot rehearsal footage and suburban Sasquatch theories to Nathan Fielder's bizarre Elizabeth Holmes documentary, Travis Barker's influence, Prince's legendary guitar playing, Hollywood controversies, and Moon's impending karaoke nightmare, this funny podcast is packed with weird news, celebrity gossip, music debates, and the sarcastic humor that makes The Rizzuto Show a St. Louis morning-radio favorite.
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