Rizz, King Scott, Moon, Lern, and Rafe Williams are bringing you a massive helping of St. Louis morning radio chaos in this funny podcast packed with celebrity gossip, bizarre news stories, dating disasters, rock-and-roll debates, and enough ridiculous conversations to make you seriously reconsider the people you spend your mornings with.

First, Rafe returns from an unforgettable trip to Ann Arbor, Michigan, where he performed stand-up comedy with St. Louis favorites the Sklar Brothers and somehow ended up receiving the VIP treatment from the University of Michigan football program.

We're talking luxury locker rooms, personal massage chairs, private barbers, bowling alleys, golf simulators, enormous indoor practice facilities, and enough free food to make a grown man consider enrolling in college again.

Rafe tours the Wolverines' incredible athletic facilities, receives Michigan Jordans and a jacket, and gets to experience the excitement of game day at the legendary Big House. He even helps hold the Michigan banner before the team runs onto the field.

Naturally, he spends much of the weekend wondering whether Bob Seger might suddenly appear.

Because apparently the University of Michigan's greatest attraction isn't football. It's the possibility of running into the guy who sang “Night Moves.”

And if you're wondering why Rafe is wearing a glorious blonde mullet wig back in the studio, thank the NFL Pick'em Challenge.

The wig is punishment for his football predictions, but the truly disturbing part is how good it looks on him. Lern thinks he can pull off any hairstyle, Rizz agrees it looks surprisingly natural, and Rafe has an important meeting with a potential client later that day.

Nothing screams business professional quite like a man who looks ready to sell you a used Trans Am.

Speaking of questionable appearances, BIGFOOT APPARENTLY HAD REHEARSAL FOOTAGE.

The gang discusses the documentary Capturing Bigfoot, which reportedly features a test clip resembling the legendary 1967 Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot footage.

Yes, the most famous Sasquatch sighting in history might have had a practice run.

Rizz is devastated by the possibility that the iconic footage was staged, but Rafe has a much more compelling theory.

Bigfoot is real according to our resident Cryptozoologist King Scott.

He's just not living in the woods anymore.

According to Rafe, some woman probably found him hiking, shaved him down, cleaned him up, and got him a respectable job selling Acuras in Chesterfield.

That's right. The reason nobody can find Bigfoot is that he's probably working in suburban St. Louis with a decent benefits package.

Jason Momoa might also be a professionally groomed Yeti.

We're not saying that's true. We're saying Rafe has clearly spent too much time thinking about it.

From cryptozoology, the conversation moves to something almost as difficult to understand: Nathan Fielder's Elizabeth Holmes documentary.

Rafe catches the movie in a packed theater and gives it an enthusiastic A, despite sitting in the front row for nearly three hours.

The documentary follows the disgraced Theranos founder in the period leading up to her prison sentence, with Fielder's signature uncomfortable humor, bizarre interviews, and increasingly complicated questions about what's real and what's staged.

Rafe describes a particularly strange sequence involving Amanda Seyfried's portrayal of Holmes in The Dropout, where the film starts folding back in on itself like a psychological experiment designed specifically to make everybody uncomfortable.

The crew debates the movie's reviews, its unusual R rating, and whether anybody needs a three-hour documentary that requires a bathroom strategy.

Rafe says it's worth it.

His bladder would like to issue a separate review.

Meanwhile, it's National New Friends Day, and the gang has reached a unanimous conclusion:

Making friends as an adult is exhausting.

When you're a kid, you just ask somebody if they like dinosaurs, and suddenly you're best friends.

When you're an adult, you have to coordinate schedules, navigate social expectations, make awkward small talk, and somehow convince another human being that spending time with you is worth leaving their house.

Rizz shares a survey suggesting the average American hasn't made a new friend in five years.

Rafe announces that his friendship department has no vacancies.

Lern explains that her closest friendships work because nobody expects constant communication.

And the crew debates whether adult friendships have become more complicated than dating.

Lern even shares how nervous she was when she asked a woman named Nikki to hang out after their professional relationship ended.

She worried about her appearance, whether they'd click, and whether the invitation would seem weird.

Basically, she went through all the emotional preparation of a first date just to get coffee with another woman.

Thankfully, the friendship worked out.

Which is nice, because nobody needs another rejection story involving a coffee shop.

The gang also tackles the lost art of having friends over for dinner.

Why does nobody host dinner parties anymore?

Is everybody too busy? Too tired? Too broke?

Or is the real problem that once people get comfortable on your couch, they refuse to leave?

Rafe believes spending time in someone's home creates deeper friendships.

Lern believes people should understand when the evening is over.

Her solution?

Gift bags.

Yes, Lern sends guests home with leftover promotional merchandise, batteries, popcorn, and whatever else she's accumulated throughout the year.

It's a brilliant system.

You get a free present, and she gets her house back.

Everybody wins.

Then things get even more awkward when the gang discusses a woman who went viral after being stood up on a Bumble date.

The guy reportedly said he was on his way, never arrived, and left her stuck with more than $100 in expenses for transportation, drinks, shrimp cocktail, and tips.

She wants Bumble to reimburse her.

The crew wonders whether dating apps should be responsible for their users' bad behavior and whether singles should be allowed to leave reviews of people they've dated.

Imagine checking someone's romantic rating before agreeing to dinner.

“Great conversation. Terrible parking. Refused to split dessert. Two stars.”

Of course, the whole system would collapse the moment somebody got rejected and decided revenge was best served through a one-star review.

So maybe the answer isn't rating people like restaurants.

Maybe it's actually going to breakfast.

The gang discusses the growing appeal of breakfast first dates, where you can meet someone for coffee, pancakes, or a quick meal without committing to an expensive evening.

Rizz loves the idea.

Lern appreciates the lower pressure but isn't thrilled about waking up early.

And everybody agrees that if the date goes badly, it's much easier to escape after coffee than after a three-course dinner.

Which brings us to one of the most important questions of the day:

Are pancakes romantic?

The crew explores why younger men may be attracted to older women, discussing confidence, independence, direct communication, and the appeal of relationships without endless dating-app games.

Rafe suggests that an older woman might simply invite you over and offer to make pancakes.

No mixed signals.

No complicated emotional chess.

Just breakfast.

Except a listener quickly points out that an invitation for pancakes can absolutely have another meaning.

And just like that, the most innocent breakfast food in America becomes a relationship controversy.

The crew also debates age-gap relationships involving celebrities like Madonna, Cher, Kris Jenner, and Bill Belichick, asking why society often reacts differently to older men dating younger women than to older women dating younger men.

Along the way, they explore the idea of soulmates.

Does everyone have one true love?

Can you have multiple soulmates?

Can your soulmate be a best friend instead of a romantic partner?

Rafe offers a surprisingly thoughtful theory that people discover different pieces of themselves through the connections they make throughout their lives.

Lern agrees, but immediately wants to know why Rafe gets to sound philosophical without being accused of eating an edible.

It's one of the rare moments when the Rizz Show almost becomes emotionally intelligent.

Fortunately, somebody makes it weird again.

Back in St. Louis, the crew celebrates Greek Fire's return to Delmar Hall, where Moon and the band deliver a theatrical rock performance featuring new music and an impressive stage production.

Rizz and Lern recap the show, but Rizz's evening also includes a restaurant experience that nearly turns into a full-blown customer-service investigation.

An upscale restaurant adds an unexplained 20% service fee to his bill.

Not a tip.

Not an automatic gratuity.

A separate charge that leaves Rizz wondering exactly where the money goes.

His wife Amelia is less than thrilled, and the gang debates hidden restaurant fees, tipping culture, and why dining out now feels like reviewing the terms and conditions of a mortgage.

Rizz also receives a wonderfully ugly little collectible monster called a Fugler from a listener, which Amelia immediately falls in love with.

So the night includes great live music, a questionable restaurant bill, and a terrifying stuffed creature.

Pretty standard Rizz Show weekend.

The crew also discusses the seasonal warning that Missouri deer are in heat, meaning rutting season is underway and drivers need to be especially alert.

Lern describes deer racing through her yard, Rizz recalls seeing deer during a trip to Springfield, and Rafe contributes some extremely questionable wildlife commentary.

The conversation is a reminder that deer are unpredictable this time of year.

Especially when romance is involved.

And speaking of Springfield, Rizz's family trip turns into a debate about Chinese food, Springfield-style cashew chicken, and whether some of Missouri's best restaurant discoveries are hiding in places people don't immediately think to visit.

The gang also discusses America's most boring highways, including those endless stretches of road where the scenery consists of cornfields, truck stops, and the growing suspicion that you've already passed the same exit three times.

Then it's time for Crap on Celebrities, where Lern delivers another collection of entertainment news, music debates, Hollywood controversies, and stories that make celebrity publicists wish they'd chosen accounting.

Billy Corgan praises Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker as one of the most influential drummers of the last three decades, leading the crew into a debate about Barker's impact, Dave Grohl, Danny Carey, and what makes a drummer truly influential.

The gang also discusses reported developments involving Sean “Diddy” Combs, Lil Jon's childhood eye injury and signature sunglasses, Carrot Top's recovery, and upcoming entertainment projects.

Rizz shares a painful family story involving Amelia suffering a corneal injury during an innocent game with their daughter, proving that even the smallest fingernail can become a surprisingly serious problem.

There are movie and television discussions involving True Detective, The Pitt, Nicolas Cage, Antonio Banderas, Jesse Eisenberg, Quentin Tarantino, and the endlessly entertaining career of Jon Favreau.

The crew also revisits one of rock music's greatest debates:

What is the greatest guitar solo of all time?

Prince's “Purple Rain” gets plenty of love, but Rizz makes a passionate case for David Gilmour's work on Pink Floyd's “Comfortably Numb.”

The gang remembers Prince's unforgettable Rock & Roll Hall of Fame performance of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and agrees that his guitar playing deserves every bit of recognition it receives.

For a few glorious minutes, everybody agrees on something.

Mark the calendar.

Then it's back to football, where The Rizz Show's NFL Pick'em Challenge continues to produce terrible predictions and excellent punishments.

Moon faces the possibility of conference-room karaoke, which is particularly funny considering he's a professional singer.

Rafe can't understand why singing in front of coworkers would be such a horrifying punishment for somebody who literally performs music for a living.

The Rizz Show also continues its unfortunate losing streak against Fast Lane, proving once again that predicting football games is apparently much harder than making fun of people who predict football games.

And finally, there's the most impressive athletic performance discussed all day.

JOEY CHESTNUT EATS AN EIGHT-POUND PIZZA IN 12 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS.

The competitive-eating legend visits St. Louis to take on the Junkyard Dog Challenge at Salvage Yard Bar and Grill, where contestants have 45 minutes to finish an enormous eight-pound deep-dish pizza.

Joey destroys it in barely over 12 minutes.

That's eight pounds of pizza.

In twelve minutes.

Some people spend longer than that deciding whether they want mushrooms.

Rizz marvels at Chestnut's competitive-eating abilities, while the crew tries to understand the sheer physical commitment required to consume that much food and somehow continue functioning as a human being.

Between Rafe's blonde mullet, Michigan football luxury, Bigfoot's alleged rehearsal footage, Nathan Fielder's bizarre documentary, adult friendship anxiety, terrible dating experiences, soulmate debates, celebrity news, Missouri deer, Greek Fire, restaurant service fees, and Joey Chestnut's stomach-defying pizza challenge, this funny podcast delivers exactly the kind of unpredictable entertainment that makes The Rizzuto Show a St. Louis morning-radio staple.

It's funny stories, weird news, pop culture commentary, relationship disasters, music debates, and daily comedy from a crew that somehow manages to turn ordinary conversations into completely unnecessary investigations.

Join Rizz, Lern, Rafe Williams, and the gang for another chaotic installment of this funny podcast, where Bigfoot might be selling cars in Chesterfield, your next first date might involve pancakes, and Joey Chestnut has officially eaten more pizza in 12 minutes than most people should eat in a weekend.

And remember:

If you see Bigfoot in the suburbs, ask about financing.

If you invite friends over, have the gift bags ready.

If somebody offers you pancakes, clarify their intentions.

And if Joey Chestnut challenges you to dinner, just hand him the menu and admit defeat.




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