What do an eight-pound pizza, a 95-year-old grandma's funeral playlist, a bald hockey broadcaster, and Rafe Williams dressed like Slash have in common? Absolutely nothing. Which means they're perfect material for The Rizzuto Show.
Welcome to another spectacularly unhinged episode of your favorite funny podcast, where Rizz, Moon, Lern, Rafe, and King Scott tackle St. Louis news, celebrity gossip, hockey fights, childhood nostalgia, and the kind of conversations that would get most people politely escorted out of a family gathering.
Things kick off with Rizz discovering a mysterious greasy substance on the studio equipment. Nobody knows what it is, nobody wants to touch it, and Rizz decides that wiping it on his pants is basically a medical procedure. Naturally, this inspires the crew to design their dream radio studio, complete with heated seats, a rolling refrigerator for Moon's overnight oats, massage chairs, and a dedicated wig closet for Rafe. Unfortunately, Rizz's proposed budget involves firing several coworkers. Human Resources is going to love that meeting.
Speaking of questionable fashion decisions, it's Wig Week, and Rafe is sweating his way through a Slash-inspired hairpiece. But at least he has hair, because St. Louis Blues broadcaster Chris Kerber joins the show to celebrate Be Bald and Free Day.
Kerber explains why he embraced the shaved-head lifestyle, introduces everyone to his beloved “Head Zamboni” skull shaver, and discusses the unexpected challenges of keeping a bald head camera-ready under bright television lights. The crew debates legendary bald icons like The Rock and Michael Jordan, while Rafe compares a fellow St. Louis radio personality's shiny dome to a giant thumbs-up in the audience. Kerber even shares an old photo of himself with hair, leaving everyone wondering who that mysterious stranger is.
But Chris isn't just here to discuss scalp maintenance. He's also breaking down the St. Louis Blues' 7–2 victory over Ottawa, the importance of Ross Johnston's fight against Mathieu Olivier, and why dropping the gloves can completely change a hockey game's momentum. Plus, Kerber discusses the Blues' announcement of ten free over-the-air Thursday night broadcasts and the ongoing challenges of getting games onto every television provider.
From hockey fights to funeral arrangements, the conversation takes a surprisingly heartfelt turn when Lern shares the story of Tim's grandmother Betty, who just celebrated her 95th birthday. Betty is still living independently, still making her own dinners, and has already decided how she'd like her life celebrated. Her plan includes donating her body to science and ending the gathering with Dolly Parton's version of “I Will Always Love You.”
It's sweet, thoughtful, and genuinely moving.
So naturally, Rizz starts planning his own funeral soundtrack featuring Mötley Crüe, Scorpions, and enough '80s hair metal to make the cemetery sound like a rock festival.
The crew also roasts Moon for forgetting his grandson's third birthday, debates why older relatives insist they don't want birthday parties, and discusses Rizz's plan to embarrass his graduating son with an absolutely enormous yard sign. His son wants privacy. Rizz is considering something closer to a municipal advertising campaign.
Then this funny podcast turns up the volume with Guitar Center's legendary “No Stairway to Heaven” rule. The gang discusses the store's changing approach, the guitar-buying boom, and the riffs that have tortured music-store employees for decades. Moon shares why physical music stores still matter to touring musicians, while everyone debates which song should be permanently banned from beginner guitar demonstrations.
Celebrity drama isn't far behind.
The crew revisits the online backlash surrounding Kelly Clarkson's dispute with Brooklyn shop Art of Play, including the shop owner's reported concerns about harassment. That sparks a bigger conversation about celebrity influence, obsessive fans, internet outrage, and why strangers feel compelled to turn somebody else's shopping disagreement into a personal crusade.
There's also entertainment gossip involving Garth Brooks, Paul McCartney, Matchbox Twenty, Eminem, Tupac Shakur, and Ozzy Osbourne, plus conversations about Beatles movie casting, rock nostalgia, and the entertainment industry's never-ending ability to produce something ridiculous.
Meanwhile, The Rizzuto Show gets its own taste of national attention when an interview with a St. Louis-area substitute teacher involved in an OnlyFans controversy is featured in Chicago television coverage. Rizz is thrilled to hear his voice on the news. The rest of the crew is less impressed by how quickly he stops caring once the show's name has been mentioned.
Woody weighs in on the criticism surrounding the interview, and the gang debates social media comments, online outrage, and whether anybody on the internet remembers how to mind their own business.
Then it's time for the athletic achievement nobody asked for but everybody wants to witness.
Joey Chestnut is coming to St. Louis to attempt an eight-pound deep-dish pizza challenge in 45 minutes.
Eight pounds of pizza. One man. A digestive system that deserves its own documentary.
Rizz makes the case for Chestnut as one of the most dominant competitors in sports history, while Moon and the gang revisit their own experiences with oversized pizza challenges. Somehow, the conversation also wanders into fake press credentials, Rafe's theory about getting into places by carrying a ladder, and the questionable decisions people make when they believe they look official.
St. Louis restaurant news brings another emotional roller coaster as the crew discusses the announced closure of Session Taco, formerly Mission Taco Joint, along with favorite menu items, restaurant expansion, and the challenges facing local businesses. There's also some hometown pride when St. Louis earns recognition in a foodie-city ranking.
And what better way to celebrate a great food city than by discussing the culinary masterpieces that kept everyone alive in college?
McDonald's dollar menus. Cheap pizza. Giant burritos. Top Ramen. Kraft Mac & Cheese. SpaghettiOs. Mini ravioli. Lunchables. Dunkaroos. Gushers.
The gang dives into college fast-food habits, meal plans, childhood snacks, and the beautiful delusion that using half a ramen seasoning packet somehow transforms sodium noodles into a health-conscious dinner. Lern admits she enjoys baked beans straight from the can, while Rafe remembers the bargain meals that got him through leaner years.
Somewhere, a nutritionist is quietly turning off the podcast.
Lern also floats the idea of doing another keg stand, prompting everyone to imagine the deeply uncomfortable sight of a grown adult showing up at a college party asking strangers to hold her ankles. And Rafe's new grill inspires a distinctly St. Louis Halloween idea: handing out freshly cooked pork steaks to trick-or-treaters.
Finally, Rizz unveils The ZIP Code Game, his answer to listeners who complained that the previous contest was too complicated. He's selected one random St. Louis-area ZIP code. Call in with your own ZIP code, match his selection, and win tickets to Greek Fire, Ludo, AEW, or Nickelback.
Simple enough.
Except there are an awful lot of ZIP codes in St. Louis, and Lern is already worried the show could last another six hours.
From bald-head maintenance and hockey fights to funeral playlists, celebrity feuds, eight-pound pizzas, greasy studio equipment, rock music, and questionable college meals, this funny podcast is a full buffet of daily comedy, weird news, pop culture commentary, and classic St. Louis morning-show chaos.
Come for Chris Kerber's Head Zamboni. Stay for Joey Chestnut's pizza challenge. And if Rizz asks for your ZIP code, just answer the question. We don't have all day.
It's The Rizzuto Show — where the stories are weird, the opinions are loud, and the only thing shinier than Chris Kerber's head is Rizz's excitement about getting mentioned on television.
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