Remember when alternative rock ruled the world, every month brought another legendary album, and nobody had the audacity to call Green Day “dad rock”? Yeah, well, apparently we're all old now. Thanks for that.
It's Friday on The Rizzuto Show, and Rizz, Moon Valjean, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are taking a musical trip back to 1994, the year alternative rock officially grew hair under its arms, developed an attitude, and helped define an entire generation.
Meanwhile, Scott is dressed like lettuce, Lern is out of town, and the crew is once again discovering that getting older is mostly just realizing your favorite music now qualifies as ancient history.
Welcome to another funny podcast packed with rock nostalgia, celebrity gossip, questionable Hollywood decisions, and enough sarcastic humor to make your high school self deeply disappointed in the adult you've become.
Was 1994 the greatest year in alternative rock history?
Moon has been saying it for years, and now Rizz has the evidence.
Inspired by a video from Tim of Kicking Harold, the guys go month by month through an absolutely ridiculous lineup of alternative rock albums released in 1994.
We're talking Live's Throwing Copper, Green Day's Dookie, Soundgarden's Superunknown, The Offspring's Smash, Weezer's Blue Album, Stone Temple Pilots' Purple, Hootie & the Blowfish's Cracked Rear View, Oasis' Definitely Maybe, R.E.M.'s Monster, Korn's self-titled debut, Pearl Jam's Vitalogy, and Bush's Sixteen Stone.
Twelve months. An absurd number of classic albums. Enough massive singles to keep 105.7 The Point busy for the next three decades.
Which, come to think of it, is pretty much what happened.
Moon explains why 1994 was so important to alternative radio in St. Louis, especially with The Point having launched the previous year. Rizz makes the case for 1991 as another legendary year, and the guys reminisce about discovering the music that would become the soundtrack to their teenage lives.
From Black Hole Sun and Basket Case to Interstate Love Song, Buddy Holly, and Better Man, it's a nostalgia trip through the era when flannel was fashionable, CDs were expensive, and your biggest responsibility was remembering to rewind a VHS tape.
Moon sums it up perfectly: 1994 was the year alternative rock finished puberty.
And then the show delivers the devastating follow-up.
Congratulations. Your favorite bands are now dad rock.
Remember when dad rock meant Led Zeppelin, Boston, and Foghat?
Well, the new generation has apparently expanded the category to include Blink-182, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Korn, Weezer, Nickelback, The Offspring, My Chemical Romance, Disturbed, Slipknot, and Third Eye Blind.
That's right. The music you once used to annoy your parents is now the music your kids use to identify you as an old person.
Moon takes this development especially well, considering several of those bands once opened for his own bands.
Nothing says aging gracefully quite like discovering you're older than the music that's already considered old.
This funny podcast also tackles a fascinating music-chart mystery: How did some of the biggest artists in rock history never score a number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100?
The crew runs through a surprising list featuring Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Johnny Cash, Journey, Bruce Springsteen, Led Zeppelin, R.E.M., Nirvana, and AC/DC.
How does Smells Like Teen Spirit become a generational anthem without reaching number one? How does Journey make Don't Stop Believin' and somehow miss the top spot?
And what exactly was beating these songs on the charts?
Rizz has questions. Moon has the rankings. Rafe wants to make sure everybody understands which Billboard chart they're talking about.
For once, somebody is asking a reasonable follow-up question.
Celebrity gossip gets weird. Again.
The crew's Crap on Celebrities segment brings a whole different collection of entertainment headlines.
They discuss a reported death of Patrick Stewart, reflecting on his roles as Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Professor X, his friendship with Ian McKellen, and his memorable career. Rizz also brings up Stewart's infamous award-show confrontation with James Corden, because apparently even a tribute to a legendary actor can turn into a debate about which celebrity is more annoying.
Then it's time for the latest Dune popcorn bucket, because movie theaters have apparently decided the popcorn container should be more controversial than the actual movie.
After the internet had its fun with the sandworm bucket from Dune: Part Two, the crew discusses a new design featuring two sandworm mouths.
A bucket built for sharing.
We're sure that's exactly how the internet will use it.
Jenny McCarthy also makes headlines after describing her health struggles and decision to sleep in a tent in her backyard over concerns about mold exposure. Moon expresses concern about the situation, while Rizz wonders where Donnie Wahlberg fits into the whole arrangement.
The guys also get into Margot Robbie's uncertain future as Harley Quinn, with James Gunn suggesting she may be finished with the role.
Rizz has opinions about Harley Quinn Halloween costumes. Moon has opinions about dating someone with Harley Quinn's personality.
Neither conversation is particularly helpful to the DC Universe.
And then there's Austin Powers 4.
Mike Myers has discussed the possibility of a new movie that focuses more heavily on Dr. Evil, sending the crew into a debate about whether the world needs another Austin Powers installment.
Is it for the fans who grew up quoting the original movies? Is it for their kids? Does that style of comedy still work?
Or should Hollywood occasionally leave something alone before nostalgia becomes a hostage situation?
More music drama, expensive guitars, and Taylor Swift money.
St. Louis native Nelly shares a story about Taylor Swift recruiting him for a surprise concert appearance, complete with private-plane travel, luxury accommodations, and an offer that apparently included $50,000.
Rizz is especially entertained by the idea of Swift describing that arrangement as not having much of a budget.
Must be nice.
The crew also discusses George Michael's Faith music-video guitar selling at auction for approximately $240,000, along with a family dispute surrounding the memorabilia.
And the ongoing bad blood between Mötley Crüe and former guitarist Mick Mars gets another look as Nikki Sixx addresses accusations about the band's live performances and the personal fallout from their legal fight.
Because nothing says rock 'n' roll brotherhood like lawyers, social media arguments, and everybody accusing everybody else of not playing their instruments.
Meanwhile, Donald Glover is reportedly developing a PUBG television adaptation with Netflix, and Jennifer Lopez says becoming an empty nester is inspiring new music.
The crew responds with precisely the level of enthusiasm you would expect.
St. Louis generosity, football misery, and a walking avocado.
It's not all music and celebrity nonsense.
The show also celebrates the incredible support from local businesses and listeners raising money for Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital through the Rizz Show's October hat sponsorships, stickers, and billboard events.
Rizz reports that donations appear to have passed $20,000, with a final total still to come.
The crew thanks the St. Louis community for showing up and supporting a genuinely important cause.
And then, naturally, the conversation returns to King Scott's humiliating mascot punishment.
After losing the NFL Pick'em challenge, Scott is working his way through an entire week of ridiculous costumes. Thanks to Crushed Red, he's now rotating between lettuce, avocado, and pizza.
Nothing quite captures the dignity of a professional morning radio show like a grown man dressed as produce while everybody else discusses Pearl Jam.
The gang also checks in on its increasingly desperate NFL Pick'em record, with Rizz insisting a comeback is still possible.
Mathematically, maybe.
Emotionally, we're not so sure.
From the glory days of alternative rock to the horror of becoming dad rock, from Hollywood nostalgia to expensive celebrity memorabilia, this funny podcast is another perfectly chaotic installment of The Rizzuto Show.
Hit play, turn up your favorite 1994 album, and remember: if your kids call Weezer classic rock, you are legally allowed to feel personally attacked.
And somebody please get King Scott out of that avocado costume before he starts charging extra for guacamole.
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