King Scott smells like a salami sandwich, Rizz nearly loses hundreds of dollars to a Taylor Swift ticket scam, and Chris Kerber reveals he's secretly running a homeowners association with the attitude of a hockey enforcer. Throw in a ghost that apparently just wanted to cuddle, a suspicious soccer-ticket exchange in London, and the mystery of September birthdays, and you've got another spectacularly dysfunctional day on The Rizzuto Show.
Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, Rafe Williams, and King Scott are back with another funny podcast packed with Halloween chaos, weird news, celebrity gossip, St. Louis Blues hockey, paranormal encounters, concert ticket disasters, and the kind of conversations that make you wonder whether this crew should be allowed to make decisions without adult supervision.
First up, King Scott officially begins Mascot Week, his punishment for losing Week 7 of the NFL Pick'em Challenge.
The rules are simple: Scott has to wear a different mascot costume every day.
Unfortunately, his first assignment is Sweetmeat, the legendary pig mascot from 105.7 The Point, and the costume has apparently absorbed enough sweat over the years to qualify as its own ecosystem.
The giant pig head smells like a salami sandwich. The armpits are horrifying. The oversized shoes look like they survived the Reagan administration. And Scott's magnificent hair makes the whole thing resemble a pig with an '80s mullet.
Rafe describes the mascot head as being lined with prosciutto, Moon points out that Sweetmeat clearly skipped leg day, and Lern takes great pleasure in watching Scott attempt to squeeze through the studio doorway.
The best part? Scott decides to eat a beef stick while wearing the costume.
Pork on pork.
It's the sort of decision that makes you realize losing the NFL Pick'em Challenge isn't even Scott's biggest problem.
The crew also previews other potential mascot appearances, including costumes associated with the St. Louis Battlehawks, local restaurants, and other familiar St. Louis favorites.
Somewhere, Fredbird and Louie are watching this unfold and reconsidering their career choices.
Then things get supernatural when a listener emails the show claiming he once had a ghost cuddle him while recovering in a hospital.
According to his account, the mysterious visitor appeared repeatedly until a priest became involved. The listener insists nothing sexual happened, which naturally gives Rizz, Moon, Lern, and Rafe approximately a thousand questions.
Was it a friendly ghost? A dream? A hallucination? Does cuddling count as a relationship? And why does The Rizzuto Show suddenly have enough paranormal dating stories to launch a supernatural matchmaking service?
The crew also remembers a previous listener who claimed to have married and divorced a ghost.
Apparently, even death isn't enough to save some relationships.
With Halloween approaching, the gang gets into costume planning, family parties, and the delicate art of surviving October without embarrassing yourself.
Moon reveals that his house has somehow become the designated gathering place for a group of teenagers, despite nobody officially asking his permission.
Rizz prepares for Halloween festivities, Lern talks costumes, and everybody debates the logistical nightmare of hosting kids who apparently believe the entire neighborhood is their personal event venue.
And speaking of family activities that might require an explanation, Rizz introduces a ranking of America's most common birthdays.
It turns out September is absolutely packed with birthdays, especially between September 8th and September 21st.
The most common date discussed on the show? September 9th.
Naturally, the crew immediately realizes that nine months before September puts conception right around the winter holidays.
Christmas. New Year's Eve. Holiday parties. Mistletoe.
Apparently, December isn't just the season of giving. It's also the season of creating somebody who will eventually need braces.
Things get even stranger when Rizz and Rafe discover that both of their fathers are named Dennis and were born on September 9th.
That's either an incredible coincidence or proof that the universe has been recycling dads.
The gang checks everyone's birthday rankings, investigates the rarest dates, and discusses why holidays like Christmas, New Year's Day, and February 29th appear near the bottom of the list.
It's a fascinating statistical discussion that somehow becomes an investigation into what everybody's parents were doing nine months before their birthday.
You're welcome, Mom and Dad.
Then Rizz brings up a story involving a Canadian couple accused of scamming Taylor Swift fans out of approximately $190,000 by selling Eras Tour tickets that didn't exist.
Fans reportedly paid for seats they never received, with some traveling long distances and spending additional money on flights and hotels before discovering they'd been ripped off.
That brings back a painful memory for Rizz, who nearly lost hundreds of dollars trying to buy Taylor Swift tickets for his daughter.
Rafe helped track down what seemed like a promising deal, but something about the transaction didn't feel right.
The seller couldn't provide convincing proof of the tickets, and thankfully the guys stopped before sending money.
A rare moment of responsible decision-making on The Rizzuto Show.
Please mark your calendars.
Meanwhile, Moon shares his own unbelievably sketchy ticket-buying experience in London, where he purchased a Chelsea soccer ticket through an unfamiliar reseller.
Instead of receiving a normal electronic ticket, Moon was instructed to meet a mystery person at a specific street corner near a mailbox.
Nothing screams legitimate sporting event like standing on a London sidewalk waiting for a stranger to appear with an envelope.
Against all odds, the man actually showed up, handed Moon a ticket, and disappeared.
Even more shocking? The ticket worked.
Moon got into the match, and the rest of the crew got another reminder that his travel adventures are apparently protected by a supernatural force that refuses to let common sense interfere.
The conversation expands into concert ticket bots, resale prices, duplicate tickets, and the increasingly ridiculous process of trying to attend a live event without getting financially destroyed.
Then it's time to celebrate National Chocolate Day, which arrives just before Halloween.
Lern admits she's already been eating from the Halloween candy stash sitting on her dining room table, while Rizz, Moon, and Rafe debate expensive chocolate bars, Dubai chocolate, local St. Louis candy shops, and whether anyone who dislikes chocolate can be trusted.
That discussion leads to one of the day's most unnecessary scientific investigations:
How much chocolate would someone theoretically have to eat to suffer a fatal overdose?
Rafe brings up a calculation suggesting that a 165-pound adult would need to consume approximately 711 regular Hershey's bars to reach a potentially fatal dose of theobromine.
Rizz immediately announces that he always stops at 710.
The gang then starts investigating other things that can become dangerous when consumed in extreme quantities, including water, bananas, and apples.
Because apparently National Chocolate Day needed a toxicology segment.
Please don't test any of these theories. The show has enough bad decisions without the audience trying to break a world record in the candy aisle.
And just when things couldn't get stranger, Chris Kerber, the voice of the St. Louis Blues, joins the show and reveals he's also the president of his neighborhood homeowners association.
Yes. That Chris Kerber.
The same guy who calls Blues games is apparently spending his free time dealing with angry emails about weeds, Christmas decorations, trash cans, and giant metal chickens.
Chris explains his refreshingly sarcastic approach to HOA leadership.
If somebody complains about weeds, he suggests they go pull them.
If somebody complains about Christmas decorations his wife volunteered to install, he offers to let them store and put up the decorations next year.
And when one resident complains about a giant metal rooster in a neighbor's yard, Chris helps arrange for the rooster to be moved into the backyard—with the added possibility of a spotlight aimed toward the complaining neighbor.
That's not neighborhood diplomacy.
That's HOA-level psychological warfare.
The crew also debates a story about an HOA allegedly discouraging full-size Halloween candy bars because other households might feel bad.
Chris makes his position clear: hand out whatever candy you want.
Finally, some leadership this country can get behind.
Of course, Chris also delivers some actual St. Louis Blues hockey analysis, discussing the availability of Blue Note Plus on DirecTV, the challenges of modern sports broadcasting, and the Blues' recent offensive struggles.
After frustrating back-to-back home shutouts, Chris breaks down the team's scoring opportunities, the outstanding opposing goaltending, and what the Blues need to do heading into their games against Boston and Detroit.
So yes, between ghost cuddling, pig costumes, and chocolate overdose calculations, somebody actually discusses professional sports.
We know. We're shocked too.
From King Scott's sweaty mascot humiliation and paranormal relationship mysteries to September birthday statistics, Taylor Swift ticket scams, Halloween candy controversies, and Chris Kerber's neighborhood leadership philosophy, this funny podcast delivers a spectacular mix of weird news, St. Louis comedy, pop culture commentary, and everyday absurdity.
It's the kind of daily entertainment that reminds you the world is full of strange people—and somehow most of them end up being discussed before lunch on 105.7 The Point.
Whether you're a Blues fan, a Swiftie, a Halloween enthusiast, a person who's survived an HOA nightmare, or somebody who simply enjoys hearing King Scott suffer inside a giant pig costume, this funny podcast has something for you.
Hit play, double-check those concert tickets, keep your Halloween candy away from Lern, and remember: if Chris Kerber asks you to move your giant metal rooster, you might want to check where the spotlight is pointing.
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