What is the hardest kind of love? Giving somebody space. Not walking away, not going cold, not pretending you do not care. Space that still says I am here.
We argue with family most because we are trying to prove we have changed. See me, I am here. Real space is not silent punishment and it is not neglect. Before you step in, ask honestly whether you are helping them or reducing your own discomfort. Have you listened long enough, or are you just ready with the answer?
One thing to try: Before you speak, give it three seconds. Not toast on the floor. Three actual seconds.
In this episode
(0:03) One of the hardest forms of love, and what it is not
(3:16) Not going down the rabbit hole. That is evolution protecting you
(5:18) Become aware of the breath, or even just an itch
(7:48) Why we argue with family. Please see me
(10:24) Space is not coldness and it is not silent punishment
(12:39) Am I helping, or reducing my own discomfort?
(15:14) The three second rule, and it is not about toast
With gratitude to
Cheryl, Nitya, Yvonne, Eleanor, Ryan, Karen, Lana, Jess and Stuart.
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