Who are you, really, behind all the roles? Sit properly with that question and no answer comes. That is the answer.
Open me up and there is no Steven in there. In deep sleep there is no Steven either. We wake up and we come online and we boot the roles: dad, councillor, host, meditator. Each one needs a different set of skills, and you can only run one at a time. So who is watching the breath when you meditate? Ask whether you are aware of your left toe and you were not, and then you were. In that gap before the answer, there is nobody home, and that is not terrifying. It is the most freeing thing I know.
One thing to try: Ask yourself, are you aware? Then notice the moment before you answer.
In this episode
(2:33) I always wanted to be somebody, and should have been specific
(4:19) Every role needs a different set of skills
(5:30) In deep sleep there is no Steven
(7:55) You cannot run two roles at once
(9:12) Who is doing the relaxing
(11:41) Are you aware of your left toe
(13:05) No fixed little statue of you sits inside
(15:31) Do it with excitement and curiosity
(16:54) My daughter found it terrifying. It is not
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