Why does part of you not want the pain to stop? Pain is inevitable. Suffering is the second arrow, and you fire that one.

The first arrow lands and it hurts. Then we load the bow ourselves. Every replay in your head, every post, every phone call to a friend, is another arrow into the same wound. And here is the uncomfortable bit. The suffering loop feeds us, because it makes us the hero of our own story. Nobody wants to hear about the good day and the view over the ocean. Everybody leans in for the battle. I have been the victim hero for the last few weeks and I know exactly how it works.

One thing to try: When a painful thought comes back, ask one question. Is this taking me anywhere? If not, it is the second arrow.

In this episode

  • (1:42) The council motion, and the word I actually said
  • (2:49) I think you meant albatross
  • (5:23) Thinking about them with other people
  • (6:37) Every replay loads the bow again
  • (7:51) Pain does not mean your practice is failing
  • (9:12) Life will still dish it up to you
  • (11:17) Why the suffering loop feeds us
  • (13:01) Nobody leans in for the good day
  • (16:28) Is this the second arrow


With gratitude to

Adam, Alison, Anna, Diana, Dominique, Dova, Ellen, Fran, Jenna and Mia, Jennifer, Jude, Kellee, Kylin, Marcie, Rita, Simon, Stefan, Steven and Sue

Support the podcast and join the Weekly Calm: stevenwebb.uk

Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.


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