Taylor Roark was a Wall Street lawyer in New York, Tokyo and London, and at home, a glass of wine became the whole bottle. Then, at 2:30 on New Year's morning, a friend asked: "Hey Taylor, are you okay?"

Sound Bites

  • "Let me just have a glass of wine. Well, let me have half a bottle. Well, the bottle's already open. I might as well finish the whole thing."
  • "I can't go save the galaxy. I have chores to do."
  • "Some people, sadly, go to their grave, having refused the call."
  • "I could probably count on one hand, maybe two, the number of people who were legitimately happy and satisfied with what they were doing."
  • "You get golden handcuffs. You're paid well to stay in something that is maybe not very thoughtful and fulfilling."
  • "I wish I had the courage to do what you, what you're doing."
  • "When you're green, you grow, and when you're ripe, you rot."
  • "But from the mindset of somebody who's in pain and struggling, they're a comfort. They're a relief."
  • "Responsibility is simply the ability to respond to whatever's happening."


Description

Taylor Roark went to law school almost by chance and ended up a Wall Street lawyer in New York, Tokyo and London. In his third year, at a review in Tokyo, a partner told him he was well on his way to partnership. He looked around and could count the happy lawyers on one hand.

Today he runs his own business, Galliant Trainings, coaching and facilitating workshops. He talks about refusing the call, the good alcoholic nobody worried about, and the question at a party that he couldn't answer honestly.

Chapters

00:00 The Good Alcoholic

03:26 Wrong Turn into Law

09:29 No One To Tell https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEQxwG7RzDe8

13:00 Count the Happy Lawyers

15:54 The Trapped Partner

20:11 What am I Chasing?

24:00 Green Grows, Ripe Rots

26:29 The Money Wasn’t Enough https://hamishniven.com/the-damage-report

29:56 Addiction as Comfort https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB_WteL8zy1IMWp1iosQsEc10IGnT2W_M

34:49 Hey Taylor, Are You Okay? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCndFFMmNzf8

42:48 Responsibility as Response

45:49 Spear in the Ground

What We Explore

  • Golden handcuffs: well paid, quietly trapped, and not seeing there's a choice
  • The good alcoholic: functioning, successful, and a bottle finished most nights
  • Refusing the call, and the friend who asked "are you okay?" twice


Mentioned in This Episode

  • Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces — the step in the hero's journey where the hero refuses the call
  • Star Wars — Luke tells Obi-Wan he can't save the galaxy, he has chores to do
  • Taylor's lat; mentor, who taught him intuition — "when you're green, you grow, and when you're ripe, you rot"


Connect with Taylor

Website: https://www.galliant.life/

Men's Meditation, Monthly Mondays: https://www.galliant.life/mens-meditation-monthly-mondays

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetaylorroark/

Instagram, Galliant: https://www.instagram.com/galliant.life/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-roark/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetaylorroark

A little about Hamish Niven

For 25 years, I lived a life that looked successful from the outside. Inside it was falling apart, and I was throwing fuel on the fire — addiction, alcohol. I was on a steep path to self-destruct.

November 2018. I chose life, and had to change everything.

I built The 13th Room because nothing like that existed when I needed it.

The Brave Man Project — this podcast. It is about men, but not just for men. Men who broke under the weight of their own performance. Men who rebuilt and climbed so much higher.

The 13th Room is a space for the successful man who needs to change and knows it. 13 sessions, you and me. No fixing. Pure witnessing. Starts with a free 20-minute conversation.

Podcast website: https://thebravemanproject.com

Hamish's website: https://hamishniven.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheBraveManProject

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hamishniven/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hamish.niven

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hamishniven/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hamishniven

Worth ten minutes, a quiet room and a pen:

https://hamishniven.com/the-damage-report

More on this:

I've Earned This — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB_WteL8zy1IMWp1iosQsEc10IGnT2W_M

No One to Tell — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCndFFMmNzf8

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