Max has been clean and sober for almost twenty three years. He is a substance abuse counsellor, recovery coach, husband, father, grandfather of twelve, and someone who has spent decades helping people rebuild their lives after addiction. Before we even started recording, I knew this conversation wasn't going to be about drugs or alcohol. It was going to be about what sits underneath them.
We spoke about recovery, but not in the way most people expect. Not about putting the drink down. About what happens after the drink is gone. The anger that remains. The shame that remains. The stories that remain. Because abstinence and emotional sobriety are not the same thing, and that is something I think gets missed far too often.
Max speaks openly about relapsing four times before finally finding long term recovery. There is no performance in the way he tells those stories. No attempt to make himself look better than he was. Just honesty about what addiction actually looks like when you are living inside it. The guilt. The denial. The bargaining. The part of you that keeps believing this time will somehow be different.
One of the things that landed for me was how much we spoke about projection. The way human beings instinctively point the finger outward because looking inward feels too threatening. We both laughed about how easy it still is, even after years of recovery, to find ourselves thinking, "It's you," before catching ourselves and realising, "Oh fuck. It's me."
That really sits underneath this entire conversation.
We also spent time talking about childhood. The stories we build about ourselves long before we are old enough to question them. A comment from a parent. A moment of embarrassment. A teacher. A family member. Tiny moments that quietly become identities we carry for decades. Not because they are true, but because nobody ever challenged them.
What I appreciated most about Max was his humility. After more than two decades sober, years working in the addiction field, and helping countless people recover, he still speaks as someone who considers himself a student first. There was no pretending he has arrived. No pretending he has life figured out. Just a willingness to keep looking at himself before looking at everyone else.
This episode isn't really about addiction. It's about responsibility. It's about the stories we continue to believe.
It's about the courage to stop asking why the world keeps happening to us and start asking what part of us keeps creating the same experience.
The question Max leaves for the next guest is this: How can you make this world a better place by starting with you?
Max can be found at: https://www.fearlesshappyness.life/
It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME
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