Chayse works in an area that most people either judge, misunderstand, or avoid talking about altogether. He is an erotic massage practitioner who works with women and couples, but what interested me wasn't the work itself. It was what sits underneath it. Desire. Communication. Consent. Shame. Fantasy. Touch. The things most people desperately want to talk about but rarely do honestly.
This conversation surprised me. I expected to spend most of the time talking about sex, but we kept finding ourselves talking about relationships. About how little people actually communicate with each other. About the assumptions we make after years together. About partners spending decades believing they know each other while never asking the questions that actually matter.
One story really stuck with me. A couple had been together for thirty years before she finally admitted she never liked something he had been doing sexually. Thirty years. It made me wonder how many people are quietly living inside relationships built on assumptions rather than honesty.
We also spoke about masculinity and the way so many men confuse performance with presence. Chayse talks openly about learning to read body language rather than simply chasing an outcome. About slowing down enough to actually notice another human being instead of making intimacy about themselves. Whether people agree with his profession or not, there is something valuable in that observation.
The conversation also moved into ethics, trauma, disability, boundaries, consent, and the responsibility that comes with working so intimately with vulnerable people. I found myself asking questions I never expected to ask, and I appreciated that Chayse answered them without trying to sell anything or convince anyone he was right.
Probably the biggest thing I took away was how often we avoid uncomfortable conversations because we assume we already know the answer. We expect our partners to somehow read our minds, then spend years resenting them for never discovering something we never actually said.
This episode is less about sex than it is about communication. Less about fantasy than honesty. Less about technique than connection.
The question Chayse leaves for the next guest is this: What are you most willing to sacrifice for someone?
Chayse can be found at: https://www.perthsensualmassage.com.au/
It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh Fuck. It’s ME
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