What happens when chronic pain intersects with queer identity, minority stress, and isolation?
In this episode, Tom speaks with Ian A. Lane, PhD, RN, pain management specialist, nurse consultant, and author of Pain, Power, and Pride. Ian explains why emotional regulation is an essential part of pain management and why telling someone that their pain is “all in their head” can be especially harmful for LGBTQ+ patients who already face dismissal and discrimination in healthcare.
The conversation explores the powerful role relationships and peer support can play in living with chronic pain. Tom and Ian discuss how partners, chosen family, friendships, and groups of people with shared experiences can provide forms of connection that individual healthcare providers often cannot.
Ian also offers practical guidance for queer people living with chronic pain, emphasizing the importance of not isolating yourself and leaning on your support network. He explains how minority stress and social isolation can affect pain across the life course, and why seeking support is not a burden.
This episode offers an affirming, evidence-informed perspective on chronic pain, healthcare, relationships, and the importance of being seen and supported as a whole person.
About Ian:
Dr. Lane is an independent nurse consultant and pain management specialist, interested in pain and palliative care needs in LGBT individuals. He is especially interested in the intersection between emotional and physical pain, and the social and contextual factors that influence our pain.
Connect with Ian:
Website: https://about.me/ianlane/
Book: https://a.co/d/0fF1Mf66
Instagram: @TheGayPainGuy
YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thegaypainguy?si=i58qDseek4tYS4xt
Connect with Tom:
Website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com
Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute
Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5
Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards