Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage — it shakes your nervous system, your finances, and your sense of self. In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist Kimberly McNary, LMFT, and host Leslie Mathews talk through how to move through divorce with clarity and steadiness instead of being run by panic.
Kimberly is the founder of The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce and uses EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy to help women navigate the emotional landscape of divorce. Together they unpack the surprises no one prepares you for, the early emotional decisions that cost women later, why you absolutely can do EMDR while you’re in the thick of it, and what it really means to stay “classy” (hint: it’s more sassy than polite).
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READY TO GET THROUGH YOUR DIVORCE — WHOLE?
THROUGH is Leslie’s structured divorce coaching program for women who want to come out the other side regulated, clear, and steady. Learn more & enroll: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram
CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE
→ Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com
→ Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com
→ Leslie’s personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com
→ Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews
CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome & meet Kimberly McNary
02:20 From couples therapy to becoming a divorce therapist
05:20 Can relationships heal after betrayal?
08:10 Kimberly's own divorce and what it taught her
10:55 The shame of being a marriage therapist going through divorce
13:20 The moments only someone who's lived divorce understands
15:50 Financial fears, keeping the house & thinking beyond survival
20:00 Why divorce support should be about more than legal advice
20:45 Leslie's first experience with dating after divorce
24:00 Timing, healing & reconnecting when you're both ready
26:00 How to know you're truly ready to date again
28:00 Dating from fear vs. dating from self-worth
30:00 Dating apps, honesty & protecting your children
33:00 Divorce with adult children and the "wait until they're grown" myth
36:00 Why healing after divorce can't be rushed
39:30 The hidden grief of divorce and rebuilding your identity
43:30 Trauma, EMDR & helping your nervous system heal
48:30 Childhood wounds that shape adult relationships
56:00 Learning to trust yourself again
1:04:00 Boundaries, co-parenting & protecting your peace
1:14:00 Building a life that finally feels like your own
1:18:00 Final thoughts & where to connect with Kimberly
Empower women through divorce and breakup transitions, drawing on EFT, EMDR, and her own lived experience. She practices in San Diego, CA.
→ Website: https://kimberlymcnary.com
ABOUT KIMBERLY McNARY, LMFT
Kimberly McNary is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with 17+ years of experience supporting relationships and personal growth. She founded The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce.
→ Instagram: @classygirlsguidetodivorce & @mcnarytherapy
→ Facebook: McNary Therapy & The Classy Girl’s Guide to Divorce
→ LinkedIn: search “Kimberly McNary”
A NOTE OF SUPPORT
This conversation touches on emotional abuse, trauma, and nervous-system overwhelm. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788). Support is available 24/7.
#PullingThreads #DivorceRecovery #EMDRTherapy #DivorceSupportForWomen #ClassyGirlsGuideToDivorce
