What happens when a high-achieving wife and mom walks away from a 15-year, six-figure career to heal her body, her marriage, and her family?
In this conversation, Kayla Licari shares how leaving her physician assistant career unraveled the deeper truth she had been carrying, chronic back pain, chest pain, anxiety, and a marriage held together by white-knuckling and self-abandonment.
Kayla and Leslie unpack what it really looks like when two people heal alongside each other through complex PTSD (CPTSD), nervous system dysregulation, and the cycles of rupture and repair that most couples never get language for. This is honest, embodied conversation about the science of the nervous system, the wisdom of the body, and the slow daily work of rebuilding intimacy, including the parts most podcasts skip over: low libido as data, self-abandonment as the hidden cost of high achievement, and how to broach the hardest conversations with your partner without it blowing up in your face.
Whether you're in the messy middle of your own healing, considering whether your marriage can come back to life, or simply trying to understand why your body keeps speaking up when your mind says everything is fine, this episode is full of practical, compassionate insight.
TIMESTAMP
00:00 Introduction to Kayla Licari
02:00 Leaving a 15-year PA career
05:00 Burnout, stress, and choosing family first
08:10 Financial security vs. self-abandonment
12:00 Why high-achieving women struggle to ask for help
14:00 Understanding complex PTSD
18:20 How childhood experiences shape relationships
22:20 Healing together instead of growing apart
30:00 Navigating conflict through nervous system awareness
37:15 How unhealthy relationship dynamics affect your health
42:00 When growth together can save a relationship
46:20 Stress, libido, and emotional connection
52:10 Staying connected through marriage and parenting
58:00 Receiving love, pleasure, and intimacy
01:04:45 Why every challenge can strengthen your relationship
01:08:15 How to talk about intimacy without blame
01:12:15 What to do when you've lost desire
01:16:00 When staying isn't the right choice
01:19:10 Healing together changes every relationship
✦ WORK WITH LESLIE ✦
→ THROUGH, 8-Week Divorce Coaching Program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram
→ 1:1 Coaching, Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com
→ Loom Life Therapy (EMDR & IFS): https://loomlifetherapy.com
✦ CONNECT WITH KAYLA LICARI ✦
→ Instagram: @kayla.licari
→ Instagram: @happywivesandhusbands
✦ FOLLOW LESLIE ✦
→ Website: https://theloomlife.com
→ Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com
→ Instagram: @the.loom.life
→ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews
✦ IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT ✦
• Leaving a six-figure career to prioritize family, marriage, and health
• Body symptoms as nervous system messages, back pain, chest pain, anxiety
• What complex PTSD (CPTSD) actually is and why it isn't in the DSM
• Healing alongside a partner with complex trauma
• Individual work vs. shared work in a marriage
• Rupture, repair, and abandonment wounds
• Low libido as data, what your body is telling you about your marriage
• Lifestyle drivers of sex drive (sleep, sunlight, alone time, connection)
• How to broach hard conversations without defensiveness
• Setting boundaries with partners, kids, and family
• Authenticity and the full-body yes
✦ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE ✦
→ When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté
→ Internal Family Systems (IFS)
→ EMDR therapy
→ Esther Perel
→ Human Design
Subscribe so you don't miss new episodes of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity. If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is leave a rating and review. It helps other women find this conversation.
Keywords: complex PTSD healing, CPTSD in marriage, nervous system regulation couples, healing marriage trauma, rupture and repair, low libido marriage, somatic healing women, leaving high-achieving career, burnout recovery women, IFS parts work, self-abandonment, holistic marriage healing
#PullingThreadsPodcast #TheLoomLife #MarriagePodcast #NervousSystemHealing #CPTSD #WomensHealing #BurnoutRecovery
