The neuroscience of why heartbreak physically hurts — and how to rewire a brain stuck in survival mode. In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews welcomes her first-ever male guest, mental health creator and coach Collin Patrick, for an honest conversation about overthinking, emotional regulation, and rebuilding a life after everything falls apart.
After a near-fatal motorcycle accident left him bedridden for months — during the same stretch his marriage ended — Collin turned a season of grief and recovery into a deep dive into neuroscience. Together, he and Leslie unpack why your brain keeps steering you back toward familiar pain, why feeling stuck is a pattern problem (not a motivation problem), and what real emotional regulation actually looks like day to day. They also get candid about men and anger, the pressure of “be the man of the house,” and the difference between leading and simply managing the people you love.
WHAT WE COVER
• How overthinking becomes a learned habit that quietly shapes your identity
• Why heartbreak registers in the brain like a physical injury — and what that means for healing • The pull of “familiar pain over unknown peace” and why we repeat relationship patterns • Clarity over solutions: what most self-help gets wrong
• What anger is often masking for men — and the emotions underneath it
• How small, daily wins compound into real, lasting change
CHAPTERS
00:00 Welcome — meeting Collin Patrick
01:15 The motorcycle accident that changed everything
05:00 Hitting rock bottom and facing himself
08:00 How healing led him to neuroscience
10:30 Your brain is doing exactly what it was programmed to do
13:00 Why self-awareness matters more than quick fixes
16:30 Trauma bonds and the chemistry of attachment
20:00 The neuroscience of heartbreak and emotional pain
24:30 Why survival mode disconnects you from yourself
27:00 Familiar pain vs. unknown peace
31:00 Small daily choices that rewire the brain
38:00 Why lasting change comes from tiny wins
43:00 Reacting vs. responding with intention
47:00 Healing your identity instead of chasing motivation
53:00 Confidence is built through evidence, not affirmations
59:00 Reprogramming your brain for happiness
1:03:00 How Collin helps people transform their lives
1:06:00 Where to find Collin and his resources
CONNECT WITH LESLIE — THE LOOM LIFE
Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com
Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com
Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://leslieellenmathews.com
Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews
CONNECT WITH COLLIN PATRICK
Instagram / TikTok / Threads: @Collin.Patrick.Health
Still Moving Journal: https://collinpatrickhealth.gumroad.com/l/stillmovingjournal
1:1 coaching: booking link in Collin’s Instagram bio
WORK WITH LESLIE
If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to understand your own patterns and rebuild from a steadier place, Leslie offers 1:1 coaching. Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call
A NOTE ON SUPPORT
This episode touches on grief, trauma, addiction, and the aftermath of hard relationships. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. Outside the U.S., findahelpline.com lists free, confidential support in your country.
Keywords: neuroscience of heartbreak, why heartbreak hurts, survival mode nervous system, overthinking, emotional regulation, healing after a toxic relationship, trauma bonds, men’s mental health, nervous system regulation, how men heal after a breakup
#MentalHealthPodcast #Neuroscience #HealingJourney #MensMentalHealth #PullingThreads
