What does it actually look like to leave a life that looks good on paper — a 20-year marriage, a competitive athletic identity, a familiar world — and rebuild from scratch in your 50s?
In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Jen Rulon — midlife transformation coach, TEDx speaker, 15-time Ironman finisher, and Kona qualifier — who walked away from her marriage, her career identity, and her relationship with alcohol, then moved alone to Costa Rica at 50.
Jen and Leslie unpack what they both call "the slow unraveling" — the years of incremental leaving that happen long before anyone physically goes. They talk about how the body keeps score of a life that no longer fits, why high-achieving women keep performing instead of living, and what it actually takes to stop chasing finish lines and start trusting yourself.
--TIMESTAMP--
00:00 – Introduction to Jen Rulon
02:08 – Leaving a life that looked perfect
07:46 – The year everything changed
10:19 – Letting go of a 30-year identity
12:05 – The Costa Rica trip that changed everything
13:00 – Her last drink and a new perspective
16:35 – Marriage counseling and uncertainty
18:18 – Rebuilding purpose and helping women
21:04 – Awakening, questioning, and change
24:00 – Trusting instead of forcing
29:11 – Choosing herself for the first time
30:02 – Realizing she was running from her marriage
33:25 – Separation and moving toward divorce
35:35 – Saying, “I want a divorce”
36:26 – Moving to Costa Rica
39:49 – The power of saying it out loud
41:08 – Performing a life vs. living one
43:00 – Why women avoid the inner work
46:25 – Childhood wounds and relationships
47:47 – What she truly wanted beneath success
50:07 – How inner work changes relationships
54:24 – Trauma bonds, loneliness, and fear
56:02 – Trusting yourself after divorce
58:05 – Jen’s Four Pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset & Meaning
59:53 – Stress, cortisol, and relationships
1:00:29 – Meditation and nervous system regulation
1:03:58 – When relationships hold you back
1:05:57 – “I finally know who I am”
1:06:58 – Finding support and community
1:10:47 – Working with Jen
1:13:18 – Rise With The Tides Retreat
1:15:30 – Life after divorce
1:16:40 – There is life after the change you're afraid to make
▶ WORK WITH LESLIE
THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram
1:1 coaching, podcast, and resources: https://theloomlife.com
▶ CONNECT WITH JEN RULON
Website: https://jenrulon.com
Free Rise Strong Blueprint: https://jenrulon.myflodesk.com/blueprint
Instagram: @coachjenrulon
TikTok: @coachjenrulon
LinkedIn: Jen Rulon
Memoir releasing 11/11/2026
▶ IN THIS EPISODE
• Why "the leaving" happens long before you physically go
• Stacy Sims, perimenopause, and the moment Jen decided her last Ironman
• Getting sober in December 2019 — and what came into focus once the mask came off
• Asking for a trial separation, then asking for a divorce
• Moving to Costa Rica alone at 50 — and what her family thought
• Masculine and feminine energy, and why so many high-achieving women perform a life instead of living one
• Jen's four pillars: Movement, Metabolism, Mindset, Meaning
• Trauma bonds, the fear of loneliness, and why the fear is usually worse than the reality
• Why finding people who match your energy is non-negotiable
▶ THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF
You're a woman in midlife who's done everything right and still finds yourself wondering, "Is this it?" You're navigating a divorce, sobriety, an empty nest, a career pivot — or you can feel the slow creep that you've been living someone else's life.
▶ SUBSCRIBE
Hit subscribe so you never miss a Tuesday episode. If this conversation resonated, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it genuinely helps other women find this work.
▶ FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE
Instagram: @the.loom.life
TikTok: @leslieellenmathews
Web: https://theloomlife.com
#midlifetransformation #divorcerecovery #startingover #sobriety #theloomlife
