Stressed out and wondering where your sex drive went? You're not broken. You're just stuck in survival mode. In this episode, licensed sex therapist Dr. Holly Wood, PhD, joins us to unpack why stress is the ultimate libido killer and what to actually do about it. We dig into the real difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why desire discrepancy is the #1 issue she sees in her practice, and how to stop internalizing your partner's low libido as a personal rejection.
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Jump to the Good Stuff:
07:00 – Why stress traps you in "survival mode" and kills access to pleasure
12:15 – Pre-workout, blood flow, and the lowest-stress window for sex
14:37 – The real libido killers: resentment, fatigue, uneven mental load
16:22 – Get out of your head and into your body
17:22 – Why talking during sex is underrated
25:00 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire
27:50 – Desire discrepancy is normal
31:20 – "It's not about you" - reframing rejection and low desire
Pleasure Highlights:
Stress doesn't just kill the mood; it hijacks your nervous system.
Desire isn't one-size-fits-all.
Desire discrepancy is normal, not a dealbreaker.
Your partner's low desire usually isn't about you.
Connect with Dr. Holly Wood, PhD:
Enhance your self-awareness by acknowledging and understanding your behavior patterns, and foster a deeper connection with your inner self. Get the Unleashing My Power: A Women's Empowerment and Gratitude Journal to reclaim your power through daily gratitude. Learn more HERE.
Connect with Jordan D’Nelle:
Email: JordanDnelle@VaginasVulvasandVibrators.com
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*Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and/or entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views and opinions expressed are my own, or those of my guests, and do not necessarily reflect the views of any organizations or institutions with which I am affiliated.
Vaginas, Vulvas, and Vibrators, the unapologetic women’s sexual wellness podcast, normalizing pleasure, bodies, and sexual health through expert, shame-free conversations.
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INDICATION
Phexx® is an on-demand prescription birth control used to prevent pregnancy. Phexx is not effective when used after sex.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
Rare cases (0.36%) of bladder and kidney infection have been reported. If you have a history of urinary tract problems that keep coming back, you should not use Phexx.
Contact your healthcare provider if you are experiencing genitourinary side effects such as vaginal burning, itching, discharge, genital discomfort (including in male partners), yeast infection, urinary tract infection or bacterial vaginosis.
Phexx does not protect against any sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. Avoid using Phexx with a vaginal ring.
Avoid Phexx if you or your sexual partner is allergic to lactic acid, citric acid, potassium bitartrate, or any of the Ingredients in Phexx. Stop using Phexx If you develop an allergic reaction.
For more information about Phexx, talk to your healthcare provider and see full Product Informationat www.phexx.com.
Please report side effects by contacting Evofem Biosciences® toll-free at 1-833-EVFMBIO or contact FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088 or www.fda.gov/medwatch.
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