Kristyna has been in her dream life in San Diego for exactly one week. Six months ago she was lying in the dark putting her toddler to bed when one question landed & wouldn't leave: why the fuck not? Not after retirement. Not after the kids are grown. Not after everyone she thought she owed her life to was done with it. Now.
The first thing she had to bury was "realistic." According to who? The second was the version of her that needed every answer before she'd say the thing out loud. She told me in the spring, if I say this I actually have to do it. I said yes, that's the point. She posted it publicly & cried for a long time after, because she knew what was coming: the goodbyes, the triggered people, the "are you going to be okay" projections from everyone around her.
We get into why claiming it publicly is the mechanism (not the reward for having it figured out), why the fear never leaves & the decision still has to be different, the first career move where the worst case happened & she lived in a tent for a week, what the hard actually looks like one week into the dream (a crash out at 9am, a different reality by 11:30), & the orange cat. She asked for a sign, decided an orange cat would be it, & then started seeing them everywhere. Her dad told her not to talk about it on the internet. She's going to talk about it until the cows come home.
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