What if the first person you need to regulate isn't your child, your partner, or anyone else around you? What if it's you?
In this episode of The Love Your Life Show, we're talking about a skill that can completely change the way you handle conflict, big feelings, and other people's problems: regulating yourself before you try to regulate someone else.
If you're anything like me, when someone around me is upset, frustrated, angry, or uncomfortable, I feel the urge to jump in.
To give advice!
To fix it!
To explain why they should think about it differently!
All in an effort to try to make "the problem" go away.
But here's what I've learned as an emotional intelligence coach and mom.
What if we're the problem?! 😳
Because here's the thing: us getting involved is not helpful for them.
It's short-term helpful for us (as we feel a bit less uncomfortable), but it's a short-term fix for a long-term problem.
What if, instead of trying to get them to change so we feel more emotionally regulated, we learn to regulate ourselves?
What if we "let them" have the experience they're having, "letting them" learn how to manage their problems and their emotions while we let us learn how to manage ourselves?!? 🙄
Crazy idea, I know, but it is the path to emotional maturity, you feeling more calm in your days, and you raising the next generation of humans who can self-regulate!
Listen in as I share what this can look like with kids, partners, family members, and other adults.
People are going to be upset.
They're going to be frustrated.
They're going to disagree.
And that's okay.
They have lives to live and part of a big life is having uncomfortable emotions and learning how to manage them.
Listen in to learn how you don't have to prevent every uncomfortable feeling. You don't have to solve every problem. And you don't have to manage everyone else's emotions.
In fact, the most helpful thing you can do, no matter the age of the human, is to regulate yourself first. Calm is contagious.
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And if you want to get better at emotional regulation, this is exactly the kind of skill we're practicing together inside the Love Your Life School. If enrollment is still open when you're listening, come join us.
🎧 If you liked this episode, you'll like this one: the one on validation (where I share LOVE picture and acronym)
395: Emotional Validation: How to Support Without Fixing in Parenting and Relationships on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/395-emotional-validation-how-to-support-without-fixing/id1434429161?i=1000770657379
395: Emotional Validation: How to Support Without Fixing in Parenting and Relationships on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/7jjouBRDLpiYChDEwDOYtU?si=ttTHL0uGR_yuM6HZS7d59g
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🌟Get the full show notes here👉🏾 https://SMBwell.com/422
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