Is hooking up with a ghost technically cheating? And what if that ghost happens to be a former First Lady? Welcome to The Rizzuto Show, where a perfectly normal conversation about the paranormal somehow turns into an investigation of George Washington's marriage.
Rizz, Moon Valjean, Lern, and Rafe Williams are back with another funny podcast packed with supernatural relationship questions, wildly questionable American history theories, rock news, celebrity gossip, and the kind of morning show chaos that makes you wonder whether anyone checked the microphones before turning them on.
Things get weird immediately when Rizz asks the crew whether they know anyone who's had a romantic encounter with a ghost. Because apparently that's a completely reasonable question to ask your coworkers before breakfast.
Lern recalls a particularly memorable dream involving a pilgrim—or possibly the Quaker Oats guy—while Moon shares a story about a tour bus driver who claimed to have an unexplained encounter in a hotel room.
Then the conversation turns to celebrities who have claimed paranormal experiences, including Dan Aykroyd and Kesha, and suddenly the entire studio is debating the rules of supernatural infidelity.
If you're married and a ghost makes a move, does that count as cheating? What about a vampire? An alien? Does your wedding vow apply across dimensions?
These are the important questions nobody asked, and naturally, The Rizzuto Show is determined to answer them.
But the real disaster begins when someone brings up Mary Todd Lincoln and Martha Washington.
What starts as a discussion about which historical First Lady might make an attractive ghost quickly becomes a completely unhinged comparison of presidential portraits. The crew notices a resemblance between George and Martha Washington, and before anyone can restore order, they're joking that the nation's first president and his wife might have been the same person.
That's right. George Washington as his own First Lady.
It's not an actual historical revelation, obviously. It's just the kind of ridiculous conspiracy theory that happens when four adults spend too much time staring at old paintings and not nearly enough time doing their jobs.
Somewhere, a history teacher just threw a textbook across the room.
Meanwhile, Lern delivers another round of Crap on Celebrities, and the entertainment world isn't making things any easier.
Metallica's Las Vegas Sphere performances are causing a disagreement in the studio. Rizz and Lern think the band's professionally released concert footage might be spoiling the experience for fans who haven't attended yet. Moon isn't quite as convinced. Is watching an entire performance online before seeing it live the musical equivalent of reading the ending of a movie?
The crew also discusses new music from The Flaming Lips, Noel Gallagher's surprisingly enthusiastic admiration for Matthew McConaughey, and the bizarre revelation that Gallagher once displayed a life-size cardboard cutout of the actor in his front window.
That naturally leads to a conversation about the crew's own cardboard cutouts, including Rizz's habit of moving his around the house. Because apparently having a life-size version of yourself isn't unsettling enough unless you occasionally put it in bed.
There's plenty more celebrity and pop culture commentary, including the crew's reaction to a reported Chris Brown legal case, a discussion of Jay-Z and the Super Bowl halftime show, and news involving Keanu Reeves, a Baywatch revival, and Sacha Baron Cohen's return to Ali G.
Then it's time for some horror talk as the gang tries to identify the greatest Stephen King books, debating classics like The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, Misery, and Salem's Lot. The conversation somehow becomes a competition to remember book titles, movie adaptations, and whether anybody actually knows what they're talking about.
The episode also includes a heartfelt shoutout to the show's video guy Zane, who recently got engaged, along with updates on The Rizzuto Show's fundraising efforts for Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital. So yes, there are a few genuinely wholesome moments buried underneath all the ghost romance and presidential nonsense.
And with AEW wrestler Orange Cassidy expected to stop by later, the crew still has more chaos waiting around the corner.
This funny podcast delivers everything you expect from a St. Louis morning comedy show: weird stories, celebrity news, rock music arguments, supernatural hypotheticals, and an absolutely unnecessary amount of speculation about the Washington family portraits.
Whether you're here for the paranormal debate, the celebrity gossip, the rock news, or the sheer stupidity of a George Washington conspiracy that nobody should take seriously, this funny podcast has something for everyone.
Hit play, stay away from haunted bedrooms, and remember: just because your wedding vows didn't specifically mention ghosts doesn't mean your spouse is going to appreciate the technicality.
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