Your friend isn't trying to be mean. She loves you. So when she says “you just have a type, hey?” she's smiling.
And you smile back. You laugh, you say “yeahhh.” And then you get in your car and the sentence that shows up isn't kind at all: what's wrong with me?
Because you can see the pattern too. Different names, different jobs, different hair.... and somehow the same ending. The same slow shrinking. So you do the math: they're all different, which means the common denominator is you. Which must mean you're broken.
I don't think that's what's happening - not even a little. In this episode, I'm going to show you the seven mechanisms actually running underneath the choosing, every one of them upstream of the decision and none of them a character flaw.
Because most dating advice was built for neurotypical brains, and “you just have a type” has no next step. “You've been choosing under conditions that were stacked against you” has three. And I'm giving them all to you.
IN THIS EPISODE
Why “why do I keep choosing the wrong partners?” is a trap of a question - and the better one that actually has a way out
The seven mechanisms driving the pattern, and why every single one happens before you ever choose
How your best mask builds a relationship on an expiry date from date one - and quietly stops you from interviewing them back
Why rejection sensitivity turns someone's enthusiasm into relief, and relief into something you mistake for love
The difference between activation and safety in your body - and the three-question check to run after every date
Why being tolerated got mistaken for being loved - and how to tell them apart
How to unmask earlier on purpose and treat it as screening, not confessing
The “your gut is data, not a verdict” rule - how to log what you notice instead of talking yourself out of it
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Free quiz, Is It Actually Me? figure out whether it's your wiring, your relationship, or the two tangled together: JennaDalton.com/quiz
Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming, leave a rating wherever you listen, and send this one to the friend who's whispered “what's wrong with me?” She needs to hear that nothing is.
Work with me: book a free 15-minute consultation - Work with Jenna
A NOTE
This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy or mental health care. If you're in crisis, please reach out to a local crisis line or emergency service.
Podden och tillhörande omslagsbild på den här sidan tillhör
Jenna Dalton. Innehållet i podden är skapat av Jenna Dalton och inte av,
eller tillsammans med, Poddtoppen.
