Are you finding yourself feeling stuck trying to rebuild trust with your spouse and wondering why nothing seems to produce the lasting change you are longing for?
Do you find yourself so triggered in certain moments that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore and then feeling ashamed or guilty why you cannot hold it together or why you are not further along?
Are you stuck in your head, thoughts going around and around like a hamster wheel, putting in what feels like so much effort but not getting anywhere and longing for someone to tell you there is actually a way out of this?
This is Part 2 of a practical and very encouraging conversation with my brother, a licensed marriage and family therapist. During it, I ask him three more questions most women have who are recovering from broken trust. Today you will learn about:
- mistakes women make when trying to rebuild trust after betrayal: over emphasizing feelings or cutting them off entirely, blaming yourself or your husband because blame feels justified, and focusing on what you do not want instead of what you actually do.
- asking different questions, for example: Instead of “Does he deserve my trust?” ask, “What do I want the outcome to be and what can I do to get closer to that?"
- how betrayal affects the nervous system and what that means practically for the trust rebuilding process.
- approaching yourself with empathy by wondering what you are actually capable of in a highly triggered moment instead of expecting more of yourself than you have available right now.
- leaning into curiosity instead of interrogation.
- turning toward the person inside you by asking questions like where am I at? What do I need? What will actually work for me right now?
- how to hold on to hope when you feel like rebuilding trust is completely out of reach. There is always a way out.
This is Part 2 of a two part conversation. If you have not yet listened to Episode 53, Part 1, go back and start there first.
RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED
CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS
Contact → hello@juliacarlton.com
Podcast → Heart Work After Betrayal on Apple Podcasts
Next Steps:
Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter
Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question
Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***ALMOST OPEN***
A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal in their marriage. Get on the waitlist now to → Join the Heart Work Healing Circle
DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
