Nobody talks about this part. But it's real, it's common, and it doesn't mean you're doing recovery wrong.
In this episode I'm getting into what it actually means when you miss your eating disorder — why it happens, why it makes complete sense, and what to do with that feeling when it shows up.
In This Episode:
Why missing your eating disorder doesn't mean you want to go back
What the eating disorder actually gave you — and why that's worth acknowledging
The grief nobody warns you about in recovery
Why recovery can feel worse than the disorder at certain stages
Romanticizing the sick body — why it happens and how to protect yourself
The two-list journal exercise for holding a balanced perspective
Why grieving the eating disorder is actually a sign of recovery working
What you're actually missing — and how to find it elsewhere
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro 2:00 Today's topic — missing your eating disorder 3:00 Why this feeling is so confusing and so common 5:00 What the eating disorder actually gave you 10:00 When recovery feels worse than the disorder 13:00 If you're in that space — keep going 15:00 How this is showing up for me in this pregnancy 18:00 Romanticizing the sick body 22:00 What you're actually missing 25:00 Practical steps 27:00 The two-list journal exercise 28:00 Letting yourself grieve it 31:00 Recovering towards something 33:00 Closing thoughts
The Two-List Exercise:
List 1: everything you miss about the eating disorder. List 2: everything it took from you.
Try to make the second list longer. If you can't — bring it to therapy.
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