I want you to become a slut and a whore for your own life.
And no, I'm not necessarily talking about sex.
I'm talking about being so turned on by the life you're living that you stop waiting for some imaginary future moment to finally enjoy it.
Somewhere along the way, especially in motherhood, women were taught that wanting less makes us better. Better mothers. Better partners. Better people.
I call bullshit.
In this episode, we're talking about pleasure as medicine. The kind of pleasure that lives in the smallest, most ordinary moments. The kind that fills you up, brings you back into your body, and reminds you that you're a woman with desires of your own.
We're getting into motherhood, the expectation of self-sacrifice, Audre Lorde's Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, and why I believe a well-fucked woman is an incredibly generous woman.
Not because she's giving from depletion.
Because she's giving from overflow.
And I'm sharing a simple practice to help you start recognizing where pleasure already exists in your life and where you've been moving away from it.
Because pleasure isn't something you have to earn.
Women want. We f*cking want.
And I want you to want your life.
Keywords
motherhood, maternal identity, pleasure, self-care for mothers, women's desire, everyday pleasure, Audre Lorde, embodied living
Action Items
Pause during the day to notice sensory moments that feel pleasurable, such as warmth, sunlight, nature, or a deep exhale.
For everyday activities, ask: “Am I going towards pleasure or away from it?”
Look for small, realistic ways to add pleasure to ordinary routines rather than waiting for a major occasion.
Chapters
00:00 Why Dee refuses the self-erasing story of motherhood
02:20 How caregiving pressure sidelines a mother’s well-being
04:20 Identity change, parenting schedules, and making room for yourself
08:05 Pleasure as a rejection of maternal martyrdom
11:26 Audre Lorde and the erotic as a compass
13:16 Why a fulfilling life is built in ordinary moments
15:20 A sensory exercise for noticing everyday pleasure
20:03 Use pleasure to tell what nourishes you
23:01 Mothers are allowed to want
24:11 Building community around women’s desires
