We spend a lot of time learning how to resolve conflict. But almost nobody talks about when not to.
Sometimes, the smartest thing you can do in a difficult conversation is wait.
In this episode, I break down seven brain states that can compromise our ability to communicate clearly, regulate our reactions, and actually resolve anything. Being tired or hungry can weaken self-control. Chronic stress can leave us hypervigilant and more likely to perceive threats. And when we’re actively escalated, the parts of the brain we rely on for reasoning, perspective, and impulse control become harder to access.
Other factors are less obvious. An unmet need for safety, belonging, or self-worth can put us on the defensive before a conversation even begins. And simply having an audience can quietly shift the goal from resolving the issue to defending ourselves or winning.
I'll also explain the neuroscience behind all seven states, how to recognize when you’re not in the right state for a difficult conversation, and what to do instead.
Because knowing when to address a conflict can be just as important as knowing how.
This episode draws from Jeremy’s new book, Wired for Peace: Using 7 Neuroscience-Based Principles to Resolve Conflicts.
📘 Get Wired for Peace:
https://a.co/d/02XFwbCC
Dealing with conflict on your team or in your workplace? Pollack Peacebuilding Systems helps organizations resolve conflict, strengthen communication, and build healthier workplaces.
Learn more or request a free consultation:
https://pollackpeacebuilding.com
About Jeremy Pollack, Ph.D.
Jeremy is a social-organizational psychologist and the founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems. He helps people and organizations better understand what drives conflict—and develop practical ways to handle it more effectively.
🎧 Listen now to learn how building conflict competency can transform tension into trust, alignment, and stronger performance.
Connect with Me
🌐 Website: PollackPeacebuilding.com
🌐 Dr. Pollack’s Courses: peacefulleadersacademy.com/courses/
📧 Email: support@pollackpeacebuilding.com
📱 LinkedIn: Jeremy Pollack
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Host: Dr. Jeremy Pollack from Pollack Peacebuilding Systems
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