Have you ever wondered why you attract the same type of person over and over or wondered why you keep ending up in the same situation? You might tell yourself you never want to change but end up right back in a similar situation again.
My guest today says there's a reason for that. Every one of us has what she calls a psychological Achilles heel — a tender spot formed early in life around a belief like I'm not lovable or I'm not good enough — and it lies dormant until something or someone presses on it. And we're often unconsciously drawn to the people who press on it, because part of us is trying to go back and finally get it right.
My guest is Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown, a psychotherapist and complex trauma specialist who authored the textbook Healing Complex PTSD, used at NYU graduate schools.
Some of the things we discuss are:
What a psychological Achilles heel is and why it lies dormant until the wrong person or situation presses on it
Why we unconsciously seek out the people who reopen our oldest wounds
Why your brain will pick familiar chaos over unpredictable peace and how that shows up in dating
Why the butterflies you feel around certain people were never really about attraction
The I AM inventory that reveals who you actually become around specific people
What your body is trying to tell you about the people you spend time with
The Erotic Emotional Map for tracing your relationship patterns back to their earliest source
Why "pruning" your relationships is only half the work and what to do with the empty space that scares most people back into old patterns
How to have the "updated conversations" most married couples never actually have
The Therapist's Take: My top three strategies for breaking the patterns that keep repeating in your life
Related Episodes
249 — The Hidden Link Between Childhood Trauma and Chronic Health Issues with Dr. Aimie Apigian
302 — Why You Choose Familiar Pain Over Unfamiliar Peace (and How to Break Free From Those Patterns)
Links & Resources
Psyche's Awakening
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