171. Creating the Attunement You Never Received, with Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

If you didn't have a safe, present caregiver you could go to and simply be witnessed by, and your life carries a deep sense of void and loneliness, this episode is for you. I sat down with Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides, a clinical psychologist and meditation teacher based in Sydney with nearly three decades of experience, to talk about how we can build that attunement now, as adults, and what it means to become a compassionate observer of our own distress.

We explore why anxiety, overachieving, shutdown, and depression are often not separate problems but different faces of the same unattuned wound, why many of our parents couldn't attune to us even when they loved us, and why the goal isn't to get rid of how we feel but to grow our capacity to hold ourselves while we feel it. Dr. Maria-Elena also guides a short practice in the middle of our conversation that I found so deeply relaxing I almost fell asleep on my own podcast. Please don't do the practice while driving or doing anything that needs your full attention. Find somewhere safe to soften, and let it find you.

💌Your free practice: https://www.drmariaelenalukeides.com.au/your-special-gift

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DOWNLOAD FOR FREE:

• Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guide

• Attatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice 

• Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-ground

• Alive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-aligned

• Trigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted 

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Top Episode Quotes:

1. "The point isn't to get rid of how I feel. It's to increase our capacity to hold space for ourselves when we're that anxious." - Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

2. "It wasn't a superpower. It was a super anxiety power, because I was never able to switch off and feel safe." - Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

3. "How do we soundproof it even more so we don't hear that baby crying? Most of our self-help is about that." - Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

4. "When we brace against that, it is a rejection of that part of us. It's closing the door on the child." - Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

5. "Let's just stop fighting ourselves and start bringing all the parts of ourselves into our internal field of love and attunement." - Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides

attunement, emotional neglect, childhood emotional neglect, hypervigilance, parts work, compassionate self, nervous system regulation, anxiety and depression, hyper independence, overachieving, burnout, mindfulness, guided meditation, inner child healing, self compassion, deep within podcast, Dr Maria-Elena Lukeides