In this episode I sit down with Wendy Behary, one of the world's leading experts on narcissism with over 30 years of experience, founder of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, and author of the international bestseller Disarming the Narcissist, selected by Oprah Daily as one of the top books on the subject and now in its third edition translated into 18 languages. Wendy cuts through the myths that flood the internet around narcissism, explains the real difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder, and shares what she has learned from three decades of sitting in the room with both narcissists and the people who love them. We talk about when to stay, when to leave, what healing actually looks like for a narcissist, how to build your healthy adult self, and how to regulate your nervous system when you are living in close proximity to someone deeply volatile.
This is one of the most clear, grounded, and genuinely rare conversations I have had on this topic,and I learned an enormous amount.
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Top Episode Quotes:
"It's not your fault that you are the way you are — but it is your responsibility, if you want to be responsible, to work on this." — Wendy Behary
"You don't have to be angry all the time to justify your position. The best place we can get ourselves to is solid, steady conviction." — Wendy Behary
"Narcissists don't sit there plotting to hurt you. They are acting in defense of their ego — and they will run you over to protect it, but that is a different thing." — Wendy Behary
"When you're in your healthy adult mode, what would that part of you say about this? That's always the question I bring people back to." — Wendy Behary
"The grandiosity is a masquerade. It is covering the shame. All of it is a compensation for feeling deeply insecure at the core." — Wendy Behary
narcissism, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, somatic healing, narcissistic abuse recovery, attachment healing, schema therapy, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, people pleasing, self abandonment, codependency healing, self worth, healthy adult self, trauma bonding, complex trauma, deep within podcast, Wendy Behary, disarming the narcissist
