Harlan Cohen on friendship, social courage, and finding places where you belong.
Finding friendship—at any stage of life—requires the risk of hearing “no.” And that “no” rarely comes directly.
That’s one of the ideas I dig into with Harlan Cohen, a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. So much of what Harlan teaches incoming college students and their parents applies just as much in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. This episode was so popular last year that I was waiting for the right time to play it again. The week I'm dropping off child #2 at college is the right time for sure!
If you’re starting over socially, hoping to expand your circle, or just tired of feeling bruised by the ups and downs of friendship, this one’s for you.
We get into:
- Why taking risks and hearing “no” are simply part of friendship at every age
- The difference between an expectation and a requirement in friendship
- What to do if you’re always the one initiating plans—a popular topic on Dear Nina, and Harlan’s answer was fantastic
- Harlan’s framework of "people, places, and patience"—and why we all need places where we’re accepted simply for showing up as ourselves, with no barrier to entry
- The story of Harlan’s first college roommate and the twist he didn’t learn until 30 years later
LINKS & RESOURCES:
MEET HARLAN COHEN:
Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts the popular podcast, The Harlan Cohen Podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children.
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Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
