Friend groups, exclusion, conflict, and the patterns we don’t always outgrow
Some friendship habits start much earlier than we realize. The way we react to being left out, how much security we get from being part of a group, whether we avoid conflict, and even how willing we are to be vulnerable with friends can all have roots in our teen years.
My guest Sheri Gazitt has spent more than 30 years working with teen girls and their parents. She’s the founder of Teen Wise and the author of Girl Drama Decoded: Empower Your Daughter Through The Ups & Downs of Girl Drama & Friendships. What struck me throughout our conversation is how easily the friendship issues she sees with teenagers translate to adult friendship.
We spoke about the difference between being deliberately excluded and simply not being invited, why being part of a friend group isn’t always the same thing as having close friendships, and what Sheri calls creating “parallel friendships” instead of putting all of our social energy into one group.
We also got very practical about conflict. Sheri shared a four-step approach to having a difficult conversation with a friend, including one step I especially appreciated: considering whether there’s any part of the situation you need to own yourself.
And we talk about what can happen after friendship disappointments pile up. Sometimes the way we protect ourselves is by keeping future friendships at a safe, superficial distance without even realizing we’re doing it.
This episode is useful whether you’re watching your own teenager navigate friendship or recognizing some very familiar patterns in your adult life. The good news is that these are skills—and we can keep getting better at them.
MEET SHERI GAZITT
Sheri Gazitt is an international friendship expert, speaker, and founder of Teen Wise. With over 30 years of experience and a background in counseling psychology, she’s helped thousands of girls navigate friendship struggles, social anxiety, and the emotional ups and downs of growing up. She’s the author of Girl Drama Decoded and supports moms through her Mom Wise Collective while also working directly with teen girls through private coaching. Coach Sheri is known for making complex social dynamics feel understandable and giving families practical ways to build confidence, connection, and healthier friendships. Find Sheri on Instagram @BeTeenWise and on Facebook.
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