Welcome to another episode of A Spark of Awareness. This week, I want to share something very raw and very alive for me: what do we do when there is no hope left?
I’m sharing this alongside my own process as an entrepreneur and founder, because building a business aligned with purpose is not a straight line. There are moments of expansion, moments of doubt, and moments when an old version of ourselves has to die before something new can emerge.
I recently came back from Gamescom, after spending some time away from the gaming industry and going deeper into consciousness, working with founders, CEOs, and leaders in transition. Being back in that environment made something very clear to me: this is no longer my space.
And that realization hit me harder than I expected.
For years, being a gaming leader and working with gaming CEOs had been part of my identity. Coming back from the conference, I realized that I was grieving that identity. I felt depleted, confused, and without much hope for what would come next. I didn’t know whether I wanted to continue coaching, retreats, or even what kind of people I wanted to work with anymore.
For a few days, everything looked negative.
I think many of us know this place. We reach a point where we feel like we are at the bottom of a hole and cannot see the way forward. And when we are in that state for long enough, we can start believing that this feeling is reality.
But it isn’t.
What I’ve learned through my own coaching practice, and through working with many leaders, is that when you reach this place, the answer is often not to push harder. It is to stop.
One thing that many high-achievers have a hard time to do.
First, feel what is here
The first thing we tend to avoid is actually the thing we need most: feeling the feelings.
When I came back from Gamescom, I was incredibly sad. I cried. I felt grief. In the past, I would have judged myself for that. I would have thought, What is wrong with me? Why am I not happy? I have so much to be grateful for.
But I have learned not to make myself wrong for feeling what I feel.
Instead, I surrender to it.
I inquired: What is this sadness about?
And I realized I was grieving an old identity. I was grieving the version of myself that people knew from my gaming career, the persona I had built and become attached to. I was grieving something that had once been important to me but was no longer where I was going.
Once I understood that, I didn’t need to fix the sadness. I just needed to let myself grieve.
And that is often how we move through grief: we don’t bypass it. We go through it.
Don’t make big decisions from an empty tank
The second lesson is simple: don’t make major decisions when you are depleted.
When I was feeling hopeless, I could feel my mind racing. I wanted to create a plan immediately. I wanted to know what client I should sign next, what I should send, what I should fix, what I should control.
But underneath all of that was fear (hello again, friend!)
My nervous system didn’t feel safe, and my mind was trying to regain control.
So instead of following every thought, I simply observed it.
Why do I need to control this right now? Why don’t I feel safe?
And just noticing that started to calm things down.
When your tank is empty, your perception becomes narrow. You don’t see possibilities clearly.
You are not in the energy to create something new. You are simply trying to survive.
So the priority is not strategy. The priority is you.
For me, that meant sleeping, going back to yoga, taking care of my garden, spending time with people I love, and doing simple things that refilled my heart.
Most importantly, I stopped asking myself, What am I going to do next?
I gave myself permission not to know.
Ask for help
The next thing I did was ask for help.
Not from my clients—I am the one holding the space for them—but from people who hold space for me. Mentors, my partner, and conscious people in my circle who could simply listen while I was feeling lost.
Sometimes we don’t need someone to give us the answer. We just need someone to witness what we’re going through.
There is a lot of healing in being witnessed without having to perform, explain, or solve anything.
And slowly, when the energy comes back, something interesting happens.
Perspective returns.
The light comes back
A few days later, I woke up completely differently. I had energy again. I felt almost like a warrior, ready to face things again. But from a new perspective.
And suddenly, some of the things that had felt overwhelming became very simple.
There was one practical example: my accountant had been difficult to reach for months, and I had been receiving warnings from the Finanzamt about late submissions. I had spent weeks going back and forth in my mind about whether I should wait, call again, or try to fix it.
And suddenly I had a very clear thought: I don’t have to fight this. I can simply stop working with him and find another way.
The situation hadn’t changed dramatically. I had changed.
And from that new state, I could see things differently.
I also started seeing my business differently. Instead of panicking about what I needed to fix, I could see that I was actually in the middle of a much bigger transition. Three years of building had prepared me for something beyond the gaming industry.
There was a bigger vision emerging: a network and movement for conscious leaders.
That insight could not have come while I was depleted and desperately trying to find an answer.
It came when I gave myself enough space to grieve, rest, refill, and listen.
There is always a rebirth after the death
This is what I want to leave you with if you are currently in a place where you feel hopeless.
You are probably in a cycle.
Something may be ending. An identity, a relationship, a business model, an old dream, a way of seeing yourself. And when something dies, it can feel like there is nothing left.
But there is often a seed already forming underneath it.
You don’t have to know what that seed will become yet.
You don’t have to rush to create a plan. You don’t have to force yourself to be positive or pretend that everything is fine.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to stop, feel what is here, take care of yourself and trust the cycle.
There is light again. There is always another chapter.
And this is also why I believe retreats and spaces for deep inner work are so valuable for leaders. We rarely give ourselves enough space to step outside the noise of our businesses and see the bigger picture.
Sometimes we need to step away from the forest before we can see where we are actually going.
A simple practice for when you feel hopeless
Take a few minutes and close your eyes. Breathe slowly, allowing your breath to become longer and softer. You can breathe in for five seconds and out for five seconds.
Then bring your attention to your body.
Where do you feel the grief, sadness, fear, or hopelessness?
Maybe it is in your heart, your belly, your chest, or somewhere else. You don’t need to change it. Simply place your hand there if that feels supportive and breathe into that space.
Ask yourself gently: What am I feeling? What am I grieving? What am I trying to control? What would happen if, just for today, I didn’t have to solve it?
Stay there for a few minutes.
The path forward rarely appears when we are forcing a path.
Sometimes it appears only after we stop looking. You just have to stay there long enough to see.
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