You have a very full life, yet a very empty feeling.
You're competent. You're reliable. You're the person everyone calls. And somewhere underneath all of the planning, the executing, the managing, the performing, you've lost your spark, your desire, your turn-on.
When I sit across from a woman and ask what she does for fun, what turns you on, what she desires, a lot of times she hasn't thought about those things in years. Maybe ever. Ask her about the next quarter in her business, and she's got that down. Planning and controlling, check. Desiring and receiving need some work.
Here's what I want you to understand about high-achieving women and control: this is not a character flaw. It is a learned strategy. The exact skills that make us successful in our careers are the ones keeping us from the intimacy and connection we desire.
Control is the opposite of intimacy. We cannot manage an experience and be in it simultaneously. The hypervigilant, people-pleasing woman who has learned to read the room and preempt every conflict will generally have a lot of career success. But if we bring that same skill set into our most intimate relationships and into the bedroom, it kills desire.
Intimacy requires presence. Pleasure requires actually receiving the good feelings. Connection requires being with what is, without editing it.
Understanding the uncertainty conceptually does not automatically make us better at tolerating it. This is a body-based skill. Small, deliberate, repeated doses of tolerating the unknown is a practice, and it is how the nervous system learns that uncertainty is not the same thing as actual danger.
If you want to go deeper on super traits, over-functioning, and building a pleasure-centered relationship and life, the Pleasure-Centered Society on Substack is where that work lives. Join HERE
And if you want to understand the specific dynamic you're in, the Pleasure Path Assessment is a private, one-on-one deep dive. BOOK NOW.
If you are at the point where something needs to change, apply to work with me. I read every application personally. You didn't build this life by waiting until conditions were perfect. This is your sign. 2 spots remain for private coaching. Apply HERE
