Boundaries are taught as a property line, enforced by a consequence, triggered by how you feel. Almost nothing is taught about lifting one. In Part 1 of this two-part episode I lay out the four things that go wrong in how boundaries are commonly taught, and why a tool meant to protect a marriage keeps getting used to end it. Part 2 is the framework.

Free cheat sheet at husbandhelphaven.com/episode-38

 

  • 0:00 The book his wife was reading
  • 7:04 The standard model of boundaries
  • 9:24 Problem 1: the trigger is just a feeling
  • 11:56 Problem 2: the consequence crosses the line you drew
  • 13:41 Problem 3: nobody teaches you to lift it 
  • 14:15 Problem 4: the gravity points out of the marriage
  • 16:41 The social media version of all this 
  • 18:17 The four problems, summarized
  • 18:50 What I actually want a boundary to do
  • 20:59 What's coming in Part 2
  • 21:20 Cheat sheet + where to go next

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