Key takeaways from Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, the shadow work book we just finished as a book club inside the Somatic Circle.
Not a full book overview. Just the things I think are most essential for you to understand as you are manifesting your desires.
One note before we dive in: Existential Kink is not a practice for deep grief, trauma, or depression. That work belongs with a therapist and in somatic containers like breathwork and TRE.
This practice is for the situations in your life you just don't like -- a bank account number, a relationship pattern that keeps repeating, a job that isn't working.
Here is what we cover:
Having is evidence of wanting. If something is in your life that you don't like, there is a subconscious part of you, the shadow, that actually does want it there. This is the central assertion of the whole book, and once it lands, it changes everything.
The Universe only knows fulfillment. It is always giving you what you want, but your subconscious runs the show 95-97% of the time. Your conscious mind sees lack. Your subconscious is getting exactly what she wanted.
The release. Once you find the part of you that wanted the no-like situation, you honor her, celebrate that she got what she wanted, and flush it. Awareness is the first step. Then you move on.
Why you need a loving third party. Your shadows are subconscious by definition, you cannot see them. That is why coaching, therapy, and community are not luxuries. They are the mirror you need.
We are in divinity's dream. This reality is not what we think it is. Remembering that takes the pressure off, off taking risks, off betting on yourself, off needing to get it perfect.
I also share why I realized I had manifested draining my bank account, what I learned from hearing Alex Hormozi talk about doing the same thing multiple times, and why I no longer use the word "healed."
Book: Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott
Next episode: how meditation supports shadow work (live on Instagram Wednesdays 10:30am PT through August)
Send me a DM on Instagram @womanifester to connect.
Have a beautiful and blessed day.
