Sex and disability. Two words most people still find uncomfortable in the same sentence. I sat down with sexologist Casey Payne to talk about what we get wrong, why pleasure belongs to everyone regardless of how their body works, and what it actually looks like to reclaim intimacy after disability, illness, or a body that's changed.
Things Discussed
Why disability and sexuality are both taboo and what happens when you put them together
Redefining sex beyond intercourse and why that matters for anyone whose body has changed
The orgasm gap and why around 90 per cent of women can't orgasm through penetration alone
How carers and parents can support sexual autonomy without having every conversation themselves
Practical ways to start reclaiming pleasure after illness, injury, or chronic health conditions
How to find a sexologist in Australia and what to expect
Chapter Timestamps
[00:00] Sex and disability: why this conversation matters
[03:00] Redefining what sex actually is
[06:30] Body image and who sex is for
[09:00] The orgasm gap and sex toys as tools
[13:00] Carers, parents and adult sexuality
[18:30] How sex education lowers abuse risk
[22:00] Reclaiming sexuality after disability
[26:00] Starting with pleasure, not sex
[28:00] What sex education should look like
[29:30] How to find a sexologist in Australia
Resources and Links
The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, includes a workbook
The Orgasm Gap by Karen Gurney
Sex Education on Netflix, seasons 1 and 2 recommended
Society of Australian Sexologists: sexologist.org.au
Pleasure Pixel professional development course for support workers: pleasurepixel.com.au
Free resource on getting comfortable talking about sex: marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex
Keep the Conversation Going
Download the free resource at marievakakis.com.au/time-to-get-comfortable-talking-about-sex
Got a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships? Submit it at forms.gle/ExJAeBTXAfn8xGkQ9 and it might feature in a future Ask Marie episode.
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Guest Information
Casey Payne is a sexologist specialising in sexual health, disability, and intimacy, with a professional development course for support workers and other resources for adults at pleasurepixel.com.au.
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