About a year ago, I typed “Shibari” into Spotify because I needed something better to tie people to than my liked songs — which are basically 80s music, Metallica, and the Little Drummer Boy.
A playlist called Chiara Shibari popped up. I used it for the next year with absolutely no idea Chiara was an actual human being.
Then I found Julieta Chiara on Substack and had the very mature realization: Oh shit. It’s her.
Julieta is a submissive mentor and Shibari master who’s been in the kink lifestyle for ten years. We get into what kink changed for her outside the bedroom, why being sexually met is very different from simply having good sex, and why dominance can be an incredibly vulnerable thing for men to explore.
We also talk about shame, submission, consent, power, rope, what it means to feel fully accepted by another person, and why Julieta sees kink less as something broken people do and more as a way to play with parts of ourselves we don’t usually get to explore.
Then we get into containment — what it actually means to be with someone who can handle all of you — and why Julieta’s experiences in kink have become one of the closest things she has to spirituality.
And then, naturally, we end up talking about God.
If you’ve ever had a desire you couldn’t explain, judged yourself for wanting, or tried to make smaller so somebody else would be more comfortable — this one’s for you.
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👉 Men, come train with us in The UNcivilized Nation:
https://www.manuncivilized.com/thenation
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Connect with Julieta:
Website: https://www.julietachiara.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julietachiara/
Substack: https://substack.com/@julietachiara
Connect with Traver:
Website: https://www.manuncivilized.com
Substack: https://traverboehm.substack.com
Instagram: @traverboehm
Get my books: https://www.manuncivilized.com/books
CHAPTERS:
00:00 How Traver Found Julieta Through a Shibari Playlist
02:34 Meet Julieta: The Sub Who Ties
05:25 How Julieta Found Kink
10:58 “My Soul Is Kinky”: What Changes Outside the Bedroom
17:31 Kink Is Play
22:07 The Sub Who Tops
28:06 Intimacy Without Sex
32:18 What It Means to Be Sexually Met
36:54 The Grief of Finally Getting What You Want
43:22 Why Dominance Can Be Vulnerable for Men
46:55 Consent, Collaboration, and Learning to Lead
51:24 What Containment Actually Means
56:35 Sex, Power, and Spirituality
