In this episode, we talk about our views on agreements within relationships. We start by describing the way our past involvement with relationship anarchy community influenced our thinking, and our shared rejection of promise-like contractual agreements. Throughout the episode, we discuss monogamous agreements, fluid-bonding, cheating, abusive relationships, best practices for communication, the special status we assign to sexual agreements, accepting human fallibility, and planning how we are going to handle inevitable broken agreements. At one point, we focus on a story Benzi brought up about a stay-at-home mom whose husband keeps cheating, apologizing, and cheating again, and end up in real disagreement about how much agency and responsibility she has in that situation versus how much is about power and entrapment. We also talk about how people can be good or bad predictors of their own behavior, how neurodivergence plays into that, some of our differing and overlapping needs in socializing, how we manage our expectations of each other, and the ways we’ve both grown in our ability to navigate making and breaking agreements. True to the topic, we end the episode by making (and keeping) an agreement about exactly how long Juno gets to thrift before lunch in Tucson.
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