A quiet team can feel like proof that things are going well. Suzi Wear sees it differently. If you're not hearing suggestions, feedback, or even complaints, something is usually keeping people from being open and honest with you.
In this episode, Suzi and Brandon dig into the moment a frustrated employee shows up at your door. The common reflexes are to smooth it over, avoid it, or get defensive and explain the decision. Suzi's read on why: passion is appreciated as long as it's convenient. How you respond in that moment either builds trust or shuts it down, for that person and for everyone else watching.
Suzi shares the story of a high-performing, usually reserved employee who came in visibly frustrated that leadership had made decisions affecting her team without asking the people closest to the work. Her supervisor went straight to defending the process. She felt defeated and went quiet, and it wasn't because she agreed. She had learned that speaking up didn't help.
You'll also hear how to tell a chronic complainer from a real signal, why responses like "let's be constructive" or "you need to calm down" shut people down, and what to say instead. Suzi closes with a simple three-step approach any manager can use the next time a complaint lands on their desk: reward it, mine it, and close the loop.
About our guest
Suzi Wear is Managing Director of Learning and Development Services at Xenium HR. She has more than 20 years in HR and leadership roles, with work spanning employee relations, workplace culture, and leadership development, including consulting for hundreds of small and growing businesses.
Suzi designs and delivers practical training and coaching for leaders. She is a certified coach through the Institute of Social and Emotional Intelligence and recently earned her accreditation in Conversational Intelligence, which shapes much of the workshop content she teaches.
TIMESTAMPS
- 00:00 Introduction
- 01:31 Why a quiet team should make you nervous
- 02:34 How to tell a quiet team from a resigned one
- 03:34 Why quiet gets mistaken for everything going well
- 04:25 Why leaders smooth it over, avoid it, or get defensive
- 05:42 Why passion is only welcome when it's convenient
- 07:32 What "let's be constructive" tells an employee
- 08:39 How "I'm so glad you came to me" changes the conversation
- 09:28 How the power dynamic shapes your response
- 10:20 How to tell a chronic complainer from a real signal
- 12:55 Why a high performer went quiet after raising a concern
- 15:10 Why the whole room learns from how you react
- 16:05 Why there are no good or bad emotions at work
- 16:44 Why trust dies when people stop talking
- 17:55 Why leaders have to regulate their own emotions first
- 18:27 How to handle a complaint tomorrow: reward it, mine it, close the loop
- 20:45 Where to find Suzi's workshops and courses
A QUICK GLIMPSE INTO OUR PODCAST
Podcast: Transform Your Workplace, sponsored by Xenium HR
Host: Brandon Laws
In Brandon's own words: "The Transform Your Workplace podcast is your go-to source for the latest workplace trends, big ideas, and time-tested methods straight from the mouths of industry experts and respected thought-leaders."
About Xenium HR
Xenium HR is on a mission to transform workplaces by providing expert outsourced HR and payroll services for small and medium-sized businesses. With a people-first approach, Xenium helps organizations create thriving work environments where employees feel valued and supported. From navigating compliance to enhancing workplace culture, Xenium offers tailored solutions that empower growth and simplify HR. Whether managing employee relations, payroll processing, or implementing impactful training programs, Xenium is the trusted partner businesses rely on to elevate their workplace experience. Discover how Xenium can transform your workplace: Learn more
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