If you've ever wondered what happens when St. Louis collectively loses its mind over bread, a pet kangaroo becomes public enemy number one, and everyone starts planning for an NBA team that doesn't technically exist yet... congratulations, you've found today's episode.
On today's daily comedy show, the gang dives headfirst into the internet meltdown surrounding Panera moving its headquarters to Boston. Is this another Rams-level betrayal, or are people simply way too emotionally invested in soup and sandwiches? The debate gets surprisingly passionate, with theories, conspiracy-level outrage, and enough Bread Co. nostalgia to butter an entire bakery.
Then things somehow get even stranger.
There's a real pet kangaroo named Rufus hopping around Missouri after escaping from his enclosure, launching one of the funniest conversations we've ever had about exotic pets, Australian wildlife, boxing kangaroos, and why absolutely nobody expects to look out their kitchen window and see a four-foot marsupial staring back at them.
As if that wasn't enough, the crew gets excited about rumors that St. Louis could someday land an NBA franchise, debates whether the Portland Trail Blazers could become the St. Louis Trail Blazers, imagines new arenas, and immediately starts spending money that doesn't exist.
Of course, because this is The Rizzuto Show, we also somehow end up talking about armadillos, leprosy, Anthony Bourdain conspiracy theories, earthquake anxiety, weird Missouri wildlife, celebrity gossip, local news, and enough random detours to make your GPS quit.
Expect sarcastic takes, ridiculous hypotheticals, hilarious fails, pop culture commentary, local St. Louis chaos, and the kind of conversations that only happen when six people completely refuse to stay on topic.
Whether you're here for funny news, celebrity nonsense, Missouri weirdness, or just need something to laugh at during your commute, this episode delivers exactly the kind of beautiful train wreck you've come to expect.
Thanks for making us part of your day. Keep sharing the show, keep telling your friends, and remember: if you see a kangaroo in Missouri...maybe it's actually a kangaroo.
One innocent bakery van. One suspicious slogan. One studio full of adults who absolutely refused to let it go.
What should have been a simple conversation about Nothing Bundt Cakes rapidly devolves into one of those classic Rizz Show debates where nobody can agree if a marketing slogan is clever, completely innocent, or unintentionally one of the funniest things ever printed on a delivery van.
From there...because this is The Rizzuto Show...the conversation somehow shifts into Halloween party planning, costumes nobody should wear, Ballpark Village's Freak Show bash, and why Halloween somehow starts before August even arrives.
The crew also dives into major local news as Hollywood River Studios announces plans that could transform the Metro East into a legitimate production hub. Massive sound stages, esports arenas, film tax credits, and the possibility of movies being made just across the river all have the crew imagining what St. Louis could become.
Technology also gets roasted when Apple unveils its new hardware leasing program. Is leasing your iPhone actually smart? Is owning anything becoming a thing of the past? The gang debates whether renting phones is the future or just another monthly bill nobody asked for.
Then it's time for a packed Crap on Celebrities featuring entertainment headlines involving Jared Leto allegations, Usher's awkward concert moment, Katy Perry's inflatable crowd-surfing fail, new music from Tony Iommi, Peter Gabriel's latest full moon release, Marvel movie rankings, celebrity birthdays, and plenty of sarcastic commentary that somehow makes even serious stories feel like hanging out with your funniest friends.
Along the way you'll also hear debates about when kids should start paying their own phone bills, why Terry Crews seems like the nicest guy alive, Bob Hope trivia nobody expected, and enough random tangents to make your morning commute disappear.
Some shows ease into the day. We immediately start arguing over Missouri's official state animal, accidentally insult half the Midwest, and somehow end up talking about rabid beavers terrorizing New York. Pretty standard Tuesday around here.
The gang discovers that Missouri's official state animal isn't nearly as obvious as anyone thought, learns way more about mule breeding than anyone requested, debates whether a charging beaver should be kicked like "nature's football," and wonders why every state seems to have picked the weirdest possible mascot.
Then it's time for one of the greatest disasters in recent memory: Read My Lips. Words like butt crack, flamethrower, cinnamon, armadillo, bidet, mothballs, Sasquatch, cornhole, and fruitcake somehow become Big Rig, Philadelphia, Hope Solo, Powder Keg, and whatever "Quantana Roo" is supposed to be. Nobody can read lips, everyone is somehow overconfident anyway, and the callers suffer right along with us.
King Scott proves that facial hair is apparently the ultimate lip-reading defense system. Moon keeps inventing new techniques. Rafe becomes increasingly concerned about everyone's strategy. Lern somehow turns perfectly normal words into complete mysteries. Riz somehow nails "cornhole" while missing words he literally owns.
Along the way we also dive into:
• Missouri mule history
• Rabid beaver attacks
• Weird state facts
• Listener games
• Complete communication breakdowns
• More accidental nonsense than should legally fit into one morning show
If you enjoy ridiculous conversations that somehow become educational, questionable wildlife discussions, hilarious games, and friends relentlessly roasting each other, you've found your people.
New episodes of our daily comedy podcast drop every weekday with celebrity news, weird stories, listener games, and enough sarcasm to make your coworkers wonder why you're laughing at your desk.
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