In this episode, I talk with Asha Mahari, whose writings on non-consensual touch and power dynamics in spiritual and healing communities struck a chord when I came across them online.
Asha shares her own story of getting into a relationship with a workshop facilitator in new community she joined, being told it would be monogamous, and then discovering she'd been part of an undisclosed polyamorous dynamic, all without her knowledge or consent.
We talk about how language like "worshipping the divine feminine" and "getting my needs met" can function as a cover for manipulation and objectification and how this man specifically targeted women who were new to the community, spiritually curious, and didn't yet have the relationships or history to recognize the pattern.
But isn't just about one person's behaviors. We dig into what Asha calls "micro-assaults" or the small, body-level signals we learn to override and normalize, and how those normalized moments are often the foundation that bigger harm gets built on. We also talk about Asha's own journey with speaking out, which began from more reactive, less-integrated place, and what changed in her, including her own complicity, that led to her words being received by others.
Note: This episode discusses sexual coercion, grooming, non-consensual relationship dynamics, and includes explicit language and direct references to sexual assault within the context of spiritual and wellness communities.
In this episode, we cover: How "worship" and "divine feminine" language can be used to justify objectification Undisclosed polyamory and consent: what happens when "needs met" becomes code for something else How facilitators can target newcomers who lack community history or context "Micro-assaults": the small, normalized signals that pave the way for bigger harm Moving from reactive to heart-centered: Asha's journey with speaking out publicly Why Asha writes from a place of personal complicity, not just personal harm Dismantling "inner patriarchy" as a precursor to dismantling systemic patriarchy
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction 02:11 Twin Flames & the Divine Feminine 06:12 When Chaos Gets Mistaken for Love 08:55 When Spiritual Language Manipulates 14:51 Poly Without Your Consent 21:01 I Knew Who You Were Talking About 25:03 Micro-Assaults: What We Tolerate 32:49 I Only Write What I've Lived 36:46 Patriarchy & the Divine Feminine
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