What if your “low libido” is actually a lack of imagination?
In this episode, Natassia sits down with writer Carly Pifer, founder of literary erotica platform Aurore, to explore what women really want, how responsive desire styles get turned on by storytelling and why reading erotica is such an effective form of low-pressure foreplay.
Carly shares the real‑life experiences that inspired her crowdsourced erotica platform—from interviewing strangers about their intimate lives in bars and going on Tinder “research dates” across Europe to rewriting painful relationships through erotic fiction and helping women feel less ashamed of what turns them on.
For the past two years, Natassia has been an avid reader of Aurore’s stories and loves how it offers a playful way to sample different scenarios, learn what actually lights you up (and what doesn’t), and bring those discoveries back into your own sex life. If you’re curious, use code NATASSIA to get 10% off your subscription at readaurore.com.
00:00 – Why women connect more with erotica than porn
02:00 – Responsive desire vs spontaneous desire
04:18 – Erotica as a place you go mentally
05:25 – Writing through body image insecurities
08:16 – Turning insecurity into eroticism
09:39 – Building Aurore and crowdsourced erotica
10:30 – Why romance novels don’t work for everyone
12:02 – Feeling emotionally safe during sex
13:32 – The rise of “real eaters”
15:44 – Interviewing strangers about sex in bars
18:21 – What people secretly reveal about intimacy
20:03 – Bathroom habits and relationship comfort
22:09 – Pubic hair trends and attraction
24:34 – Tinder dates across Europe
27:12 – Why men struggle to talk about intimacy
28:55 – Two Frenchmen in Paris story
32:12 – Why sex gets better with age
33:35 – Writing erotica as emotional healing
35:01 – Men learning oral sex from lesbian stories
36:25 – What women actually want sexually
37:18 – Fantasies as clues to your deeper desires
39:16 – Using erotica to communicate with partners
41:10 – How to start talking about fantasies
43:45 – Why sexual coaching matters
44:16 – Making quickies hotter through fantasy
45:16 – Love Is Blind and relationship psychology
46:43 – The rebellious origins of Aurore
48:05 – Straight men writing erotica
50:15 – The jeans story and male desire
51:10 – Why threesomes dominate fantasies
53:09 – Female gaze, dick pics, and visual desire
55:14 – Writing erotica to heal sexual trauma
56:34 – Understanding consensual non-consent fantasies
59:10 – Rewriting trauma through fantasy
01:01:06 – A powerful body acceptance writing exercise
01:02:22 – Final thoughts and where to find Carly
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