She spent six years with her sexuality switched off, because someone once told her it was dangerous.
Most women can list the things they're not allowed to want. Almost none can remember agreeing to the list. This week Marisa Peer sits down with Rachel Pringle, tantra teacher, intimacy coach and author of Wild Open, for an honest conversation about desire, boundaries and safety. Rachel spent her first eight years in and out of hospital, learning her body could not be trusted, then two decades in modelling, learning it was only worth what it measured. What she had been taught to fear most in herself, her power and her wildness, turned out to be the exact thing she had been cutting away in order to belong.
She opens up about the six years she shut her sexuality down, the open marriage that nearly ended her relationship with Johann Urb and then rebuilt it, and why attraction, chemistry and love are three different things. She and Marisa also cover how to keep sex alive in a long partnership, why safety is the precondition for pleasure rather than the enemy of it, why saying no is a skill rather than a personality trait, and what sixty years of diet culture has cost two generations of women.
Chapters:
0:00 - Intro 2:00 - The first new rule: I come first 2:30 - Learning that selfish can be a good thing 3:10 - Selfish, selfless, and the place in the middle 3:40 - Why "I'm so sorry, I wish I could" isn't a boundary 4:20 - Until you can say no, yes has no meaning 4:45 - The open marriage: what actually happened 5:30 - When you both fall in love with someone else 6:10 - The double standard nobody admits to 7:00 - Coming back together after the heartbreak 9:00 - Why people have affairs (it isn't the sex) 9:40 - Intimacy vs erotic sex, and why one kills the other 11:00 - "After newness and novelty comes skill and devotion" 11:40 - Ritual, role play and sacred theatre: devotional relating in practice 12:10 - Don't let closeness block intimacy 13:10 - Tantra isn't serious, it's playful 14:10 - Fantasy: the bridge between eroticism and intimacy 15:40 - The rams, the ewes and what nature is telling us 16:10 - The fertility clients who conceived through fantasy 19:00 - The locked door in your own house 21:00 - Eight years of illness: "I can't trust my body" 22:00 - Meningitis at six months old 23:00 - Soccer, scarred lungs and learning to believe out loud 27:00 - How she became Positive Pringle 29:10 - Your psychology is talking to your biology 30:20 - Asking a photographer at 13 if she should lose weight 31:40 - The taxi cab call: "I'm in a prison" 33:30 - Loving the only body you'll ever have 35:00 - Pattie Boyd: living up to Layla 36:00 - The self-love practice that made her cry 37:30 - Flawsome: flawed people, flawed relationships 39:00 - Realising her sexuality was a power, and abusing it 41:00 - Six years with her sexuality switched off 42:00 - Johann: "Where's your fire? Where's your darkness?" 43:00 - Shadow integration: bringing the destroyer into the light safely 44:00 - How the Wild Woman Experience began 45:00 - Responsibly Wild: seduction vs radiance 47:20 - Culture, religion, personality, body: the four reasons 48:40 - TRY THIS: the soft touch sensual embodiment practice 51:00 - Why women go to the bathroom in pairs 54:00 - What an orgasm does to your biology 55:10 - Sex magic with twenty-seven women 57:40 - Cult documentaries and the feeling of being convinced 58:40 - Strong instead of skinny 1:00:10 - The tantric plumber 1:01:00 - What tantra actually is 1:02:00 - No breathwork, no meditation, no tantra 1:03:40 - Jane Fonda and closing the door 1:05:40 - Why romantasy changed her life 1:07:00 - RTT, hypnosis and how beliefs get rewritten 1:08:50 - TRY THIS: fifteen minutes, music, eyes closed 1:09:40 - Lose your mind, come to your senses 1:10:00 - Where to find Rachel
Transform your confidence, relationships, health, wealth and purpose with Marisa Peer's all-new Upgrade Your Life programme: https://link.rtt.com/3RPeKWu
Read Wild Open, Rachel's collection of sacred erotica poetry Rachel's women's work is taught through the Devotion Method and the Wild Woman Experience, and her membership community is House of Devotion: https://www.devotionmethod.com/house-of-devotion-membership
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