What if the word we most avoid is the word that brings the most clarity?
In this powerful conversation, Jane is joined by Noni and Dave Yates to talk about “the A word” — abuse — and why it matters in the context of intimate betrayal.
Together, they explore the painful reality that betrayal is not only about sexual acting out or infidelity. It is also about deception, secrecy, gaslighting, manipulation, minimisation, deflection, stonewalling, and the misuse of power. These behaviours can slowly erode a partner’s sense of reality, safety, intuition, autonomy, and self-trust.
Noni and Dave share from their own lived experience, as well as their trauma-informed work supporting individuals, couples, and families impacted by betrayal. Their honesty offers language for what can feel confusing, hidden, or hard to name — and helps make sense of why betrayal can feel so destabilising.
This episode is not about using the word abuse as a weapon or an identity. It is about naming harmful behaviours clearly, understanding their impact, and opening a pathway towards accountability, safety, and healing.
If you have ever felt like you were “going crazy,” doubting your gut, silencing your voice, or struggling to explain why something feels wrong, this conversation may help you find words for your experience.
Please listen gently and take care of yourself as you do.
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Disclaimer: The content shared on Confident Again is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical, psychological, therapeutic, legal or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be used as a substitute for individualised support from an appropriately qualified professional.
The experiences, perspectives and opinions shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Jane Gibb or Quiet Wisdom. Every person and situation is different, and listeners are encouraged to seek professional support appropriate to their own circumstances.
If you are experiencing significant distress, trauma symptoms, concerns about safety, or compulsive or addictive sexual behaviour, please seek support from a suitably qualified health or mental health professional.
