Your desire for sex doesn’t match your partner’s, and now you’re wondering what that difference says about your relationship. Is this a normal part of being together long term, or a sign that something has started to go wrong?
Mismatched sex drives are incredibly common, but that doesn’t mean every desire gap should be ignored. Sometimes the difference comes down to spontaneous and responsive desire. Other times, resentment, pressure, and emotional disconnection have started changing the relationship far beyond what happens in the bedroom.
In this episode of The RISE to Intimacy Podcast, I explain how to tell when mismatched sex drives are a normal part of a long-term relationship and when the gap has started causing real damage. I also share the signs that tell me a couple may need support and what we actually work on in sex therapy.
2:13 – Why mismatched sex drives do not mean you’re incompatible
3:09 – How spontaneous and responsive desire create a cycle of rejection and pressure
6:14 – Five signs mismatched sex drives may need outside support
10:40 – Why initiating sex more often can make the problem worse
11:19 – Two responses to sexual rejection that damage the relationship
12:25 – What couples work on first in sex therapy
15:34 – What a fulfilling sex life can look like after sex therapy
17:08 – How to tell if mismatched sex drives are normal or a real problem
Mentioned In How to Know If Mismatched Sex Drives Are a Real Problem
Why People Pleasers Lose Desire and How to Reclaim It
RISE to Intimacy Free 30-Minute Consult
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