In this episode, Jeffrey and Steve answer an email from an anonymous listener. The writer has a wonderful life: retired, a great marriage, close to the kids. But at bedtime the old mistakes line up. A rude remark to a classmate, nearly fifty years ago. The kind things never make the list.
Most of us take that nightly review at its word. It feels like proof of who we are. Jeffrey names what’s actually running it: shame. And shame plays by its own rules. It doesn’t care that we were a kid, or tired, or that the other person forgot within a week. This episode is about what our nervous system is trying to protect when it does this, and why answering it with evidence never works. If you’ve ever winced at something you said decades ago, this conversation is for you.
Want to go deeper? Join Jeffrey’s free live webinar, “The Many Disguises of Shame: The Hidden Ways You’re Being Held Back.” Sign up at drjeffreyrutstein.com/links.
Have a question you’d like answered on the podcast? Call (866) 357-5156 or email hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com — we would love to feature it in a future episode.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for professional mental or physical health care. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider.
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