What if being hard on yourself has never once made you better at anything?
In this episode, Jeffrey and Steve get into self-compassion. Steve brought the question himself. Editing the last few episodes, he kept hearing the same answer sitting underneath Jeffrey's other answers, and he wanted to know what's actually happening in the nervous system when we turn on ourselves.
Most of us are running on an idea we never chose: that being hard on ourselves is what keeps us honest. It has a logic to it. Get there first, and nobody else can get there before us. And it doesn't always sound like a voice — for a lot of us it's quieter than that. The break we don't take. The rest we don't allow. Jeffrey says something here worth sitting with: we'll call ourselves flexible people, and be completely rigid about the one relationship we can never leave. This episode is about what that rigidity costs us, and why saying kinder things to ourselves usually isn't what changes it. If you've ever gotten to the end of a long day and still couldn't let yourself stop, this conversation is for you.
Want tools to help you move from dysregulation toward regulation? Grab Jeffrey's free 20-minute video, "Why Do I Feel Stuck?" at drjeffreyrutstein.com/links.
Have a question you'd like answered on the podcast? Call (866) 357-5156 or email hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com — we would love to feature it in a future episode.
This podcast is for informational purposes only and isn't a substitute for professional mental or physical health care. If you're struggling, please reach out to a qualified healthcare provider.
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