What does sexual compatibility actually come down to? In this episode, Matt of the Amoraea Podcast sits down with Liv, an Austin-based intimacy and sexuality coach, to talk about why communication matters more than matching kinks, how to bring up desires without scaring your partner, and where to turn when your partner can't or won't go there with you.
Liv shares what she learned at an academic conference on BDSM, including the idea that some kinks point to parts of ourselves that are still unresolved. She also explains "safe porting" (giving your partner a heads-up before an edgy conversation), the difference between intimacy coaches, dominatrixes, and tantric practitioners, and why "What do you want?" is a better first step than any technique. Matt and Liv also get into safety and gut instinct, and Austin's conscious-community scene as a place to start exploring.
Amoraea is a matchmaking app that matches people on attachment style and values. Everyone completes a 30-minute interview, so the community is made up of people with relationship skills. Learn more at amoraea.com.
Timestamps
00:37 Meet Liv, and why she calls herself an intimacy coach
03:35 How compatibility is measured, and why communication wins
04:50 The Erotic Blueprint
07:21 What BDSM research says about kink
12:30 Safe porting: how to start the conversation
18:38 When your partner says no: practitioners and what they offer
23:40 Breaking out of sexual repression: start with "What do you want?"
29:55 Is it safe? Radical responsibility and trusting your gut
34:28 Where to find Liv
Mentioned in this episode / Links
Liv: oliviapavlov.com | Instagram: @livlovetantra
Amoraea: amoraea.com
The Erotic Blueprint (framework for how people enter sexual connection)
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